The other day while we were at my Dad's, Bee looked at my little sister and said sweetly, "Are you going to kill my mom?"
The same day, she asked Hannah (my older younger sister), "Did you miss me when I was with Heavenly Father?"
When we went to the Children's Museum yesterday, she said "I want to ride that carousel two times! I'm getting too big to ride one time!"
In the kitchen this morning, she was singing "Old McDonald's had a Hannah."
"Uncle Curtis is mean." (which he's not, at all)
While we were driving from home to Dad's last night, "Why can I not see Bada's house!?"
Lately, she's been asking to listen to "Heimshtein Steamroller"
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Hot chocolate (and lots of parentheses)
...cures a multitude of ills. I've been making homemade hot chocolate the last little while. (Kim, you've inspired me!) And it's helping in the process of getting over the "ack, I'm still stuck in an apartment with my little family even though we're ready to move on and be real people" troubles.
In part through the hot chocolate, I've been having serious Christmas nostalgia and enjoying it oh so much. This year is the first that we've had the crucial combination of enough money and the disposition to buy a big tree (we've just never had them both at the same time). It's seven feet tall, hardly fits in our little apartment (though it's got nothing on the monsters that Dad would cut out of the tops of the pine trees in the valley, and then walk down the hill to the house...we have numerous photos of a giant Christmas-tree-ball with about 18 inches of human leg...love them). Ben did the lights (my Dad always did them when we were little, figure Bee can do with the same tradition) and then we all decorated. Today Bee decided that we should string popcorn on red thread and add it to the ornaments (almost all of which came from Gran....it's one of her funny Gran things to buy everybody several new ones each year) and lights, so that's what we'll be doing for family home evening. We've been listening to Mannheim Steamroller (another childhood tradition, thanks Mom for gifting us some so that we can listen too!) Christmas albums (really I can only imagine LOVING music this technology dependent because it's Christmas and they do a good job....and it's what we DID when I was little).
And possibly even more than the other stuff, this is the first Christmas in ten years that I've not had crazy deadlines hanging over my head making most of December totally unenjoyable (I guess there were two of those that were mission Christmases...so not the same sort of stress, but still, not really like home Christmas for sure). All I have to do is give my students their final and keep hacking away at reading my list. But I can enjoy Christmas during all of December because I have no page count to worry about, no final projects or presentations stressing me out.
Life is just pretty great.
In part through the hot chocolate, I've been having serious Christmas nostalgia and enjoying it oh so much. This year is the first that we've had the crucial combination of enough money and the disposition to buy a big tree (we've just never had them both at the same time). It's seven feet tall, hardly fits in our little apartment (though it's got nothing on the monsters that Dad would cut out of the tops of the pine trees in the valley, and then walk down the hill to the house...we have numerous photos of a giant Christmas-tree-ball with about 18 inches of human leg...love them). Ben did the lights (my Dad always did them when we were little, figure Bee can do with the same tradition) and then we all decorated. Today Bee decided that we should string popcorn on red thread and add it to the ornaments (almost all of which came from Gran....it's one of her funny Gran things to buy everybody several new ones each year) and lights, so that's what we'll be doing for family home evening. We've been listening to Mannheim Steamroller (another childhood tradition, thanks Mom for gifting us some so that we can listen too!) Christmas albums (really I can only imagine LOVING music this technology dependent because it's Christmas and they do a good job....and it's what we DID when I was little).
And possibly even more than the other stuff, this is the first Christmas in ten years that I've not had crazy deadlines hanging over my head making most of December totally unenjoyable (I guess there were two of those that were mission Christmases...so not the same sort of stress, but still, not really like home Christmas for sure). All I have to do is give my students their final and keep hacking away at reading my list. But I can enjoy Christmas during all of December because I have no page count to worry about, no final projects or presentations stressing me out.
Life is just pretty great.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Disappointment
So Ben and I had both applied for jobs at Miami University in Ohio, in the hopes that we'd be able to move home. It seemed perfect...both of us working at the same place, Ben in systems security and me teaching majors and minors and maybe even starting a theater production class.
The Spanish department interviewed me and wanted to hire me on the spot. I told them we felt like we needed to wait and hear about Ben, and they said fine. The guy in charge of hiring for the job Ben applied for has not responded in any way to Ben's phone and email requests for information about the status of Ben's application. I emailed the Spanish department to ask when they needed a final answer. The answer was, basically, "Well, before now. We had to hire someone else!"
Dang it.
There is, however, one bright hope. The Spanish department chair told me that they will be hiring another person for the fall, and that I should email him in March. So we'll see how that goes, I guess.
The Spanish department interviewed me and wanted to hire me on the spot. I told them we felt like we needed to wait and hear about Ben, and they said fine. The guy in charge of hiring for the job Ben applied for has not responded in any way to Ben's phone and email requests for information about the status of Ben's application. I emailed the Spanish department to ask when they needed a final answer. The answer was, basically, "Well, before now. We had to hire someone else!"
Dang it.
There is, however, one bright hope. The Spanish department chair told me that they will be hiring another person for the fall, and that I should email him in March. So we'll see how that goes, I guess.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
29 gifts for 29 days
My mom (who I think is a pretty phenomenal character) had this great idea....for 29 days leading up to Thanksgiving she got me, my aunt T, and my sister Hannah into this "give 29 gifts for 29 days" thing. It has a pretty cool story, you can read about it here.
I learned a lot about myself in the process, mostly that I do more than I think that I do. But it also got me into a new mindset about finding opportunities to give. Bee was in the car with me one day, and saw a homeless man standing at the corner where we were stopped at the light. I hadn't really looked at the man, but she said "Why does he look worried? Does he not have money for a house for his family?" I took a better look at his face, and the sign he was holding....it was a chance to give that was outside my comfort zone, but because I had gotten into this 29 gift-mentality, was able to get beyond myself a little bit.
And it's got me being a nicer/better/I don't know how to put it, driver. I've tried to let some of my gifts be things like not getting road-rage-y at people who try to kill me and my kids in the car. :-)
But the BEST thing about it was the daily contact with these women that I love. We decided to continue that aspect by doing a daily exchange of things we're thankful for. I'm excited about it because I'll get to keep talking to them about interesting and just downright cool observations that they have on life.
Don't really why I felt the need to post this...maybe just an invite to do something similar. A journal, or an exchange with people you love...either of the 29 gifts or the grateful days.
I learned a lot about myself in the process, mostly that I do more than I think that I do. But it also got me into a new mindset about finding opportunities to give. Bee was in the car with me one day, and saw a homeless man standing at the corner where we were stopped at the light. I hadn't really looked at the man, but she said "Why does he look worried? Does he not have money for a house for his family?" I took a better look at his face, and the sign he was holding....it was a chance to give that was outside my comfort zone, but because I had gotten into this 29 gift-mentality, was able to get beyond myself a little bit.
And it's got me being a nicer/better/I don't know how to put it, driver. I've tried to let some of my gifts be things like not getting road-rage-y at people who try to kill me and my kids in the car. :-)
But the BEST thing about it was the daily contact with these women that I love. We decided to continue that aspect by doing a daily exchange of things we're thankful for. I'm excited about it because I'll get to keep talking to them about interesting and just downright cool observations that they have on life.
Don't really why I felt the need to post this...maybe just an invite to do something similar. A journal, or an exchange with people you love...either of the 29 gifts or the grateful days.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Purgatory?
Limbo? Intermediate state? Don't know if any of those captures list-building, or waiting to hear back on a job.
For three months or so now I've endured the seemingly never-ending process of creating and structuring a list that will then shape my dissertation, adding to it, submitting it to advisors, editing it per their suggestions, and repeating. Endlessly. Like seven times. Here's where linking it to the idea of purgatory works...while I started with sort of a generally fuzzy topic of what I might possibly think about sort of writing on, I now have a nice tidy topic, with a descriptive list that relates to it, and appropriate criticism. The dross has been officially refined out. I'm left with just the good stuff. And as of yesterday, my advisor thinks so too. HOORAY!
But the process still isn't done. I now have to submit it to committee members and go through the same thing again with them as well. It really never ends.
On top of this prolonged process, we're still waiting to hear if Ben has a job with Miami's IT services department. If he does, we'll be leaving here and moving home! Their Spanish department wants me as an instructor starting in January...they've offered me teaching classes of majors and minors, plus the potential for starting a theater production class. I'm thinking that this, plus the fact that we'd get to be real people with a real house and real jobs with real benefits would be a nice change from teaching the terminal GE requirement as a student whose little family is bursting out of our apartment. But we have to wait. Still. Some more. Until the folks reviewing Ben's application decide to give him a yea or nay.
Being in the middle is frustrating to me, because I like to progress. But I have to remind myself that life IS the middle. I just have to come to terms with it.
For three months or so now I've endured the seemingly never-ending process of creating and structuring a list that will then shape my dissertation, adding to it, submitting it to advisors, editing it per their suggestions, and repeating. Endlessly. Like seven times. Here's where linking it to the idea of purgatory works...while I started with sort of a generally fuzzy topic of what I might possibly think about sort of writing on, I now have a nice tidy topic, with a descriptive list that relates to it, and appropriate criticism. The dross has been officially refined out. I'm left with just the good stuff. And as of yesterday, my advisor thinks so too. HOORAY!
But the process still isn't done. I now have to submit it to committee members and go through the same thing again with them as well. It really never ends.
On top of this prolonged process, we're still waiting to hear if Ben has a job with Miami's IT services department. If he does, we'll be leaving here and moving home! Their Spanish department wants me as an instructor starting in January...they've offered me teaching classes of majors and minors, plus the potential for starting a theater production class. I'm thinking that this, plus the fact that we'd get to be real people with a real house and real jobs with real benefits would be a nice change from teaching the terminal GE requirement as a student whose little family is bursting out of our apartment. But we have to wait. Still. Some more. Until the folks reviewing Ben's application decide to give him a yea or nay.
Being in the middle is frustrating to me, because I like to progress. But I have to remind myself that life IS the middle. I just have to come to terms with it.
Monday, November 16, 2009
My life is a comic strip....
.....did that happen because I had kids?
Here we go.
I've often pondered on how it is that I managed to have a daughter who is SO different from me in so many ways, and yet so like me in others. The things that are different amaze me because I don't know where they came from (why she loves pink, why she hates to sleep, why she's a tv addict when I could survive on a movie a month....etc). The thinks that are like me cause trouble (she's just as stubborn as I am, loves to talk as much as I do but uses her words to be mean and rebellious, and insists on having the last word...gee I don't know where THAT came from).
I love her a ton, though. She's taught me more about myself than I could have learned in any other medium, and I'm more proud of her than I am of ANY research I've ever done/produced. I tell her every night that she's my best girl, to which she of course responds "Yeah, I am."
Here we go.
I've often pondered on how it is that I managed to have a daughter who is SO different from me in so many ways, and yet so like me in others. The things that are different amaze me because I don't know where they came from (why she loves pink, why she hates to sleep, why she's a tv addict when I could survive on a movie a month....etc). The thinks that are like me cause trouble (she's just as stubborn as I am, loves to talk as much as I do but uses her words to be mean and rebellious, and insists on having the last word...gee I don't know where THAT came from).
I love her a ton, though. She's taught me more about myself than I could have learned in any other medium, and I'm more proud of her than I am of ANY research I've ever done/produced. I tell her every night that she's my best girl, to which she of course responds "Yeah, I am."
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Marriage/family
Amen to THIS.
I especially like the part where she mentions that so many of the kids with babies don't connect their impoverished, chaotic lives with the fact that they've made poor choices.
One of my biggest things I try to do is teach Bee (and eventually J) that the things they do have consequences...both good and bad. Hopefully they'll be able to accept a little accountability, and make the connection between good choices and a good life.
Not that good choices mean your life will be easy. Easy and good are not the same. But that's a WHOLE different post.
I especially like the part where she mentions that so many of the kids with babies don't connect their impoverished, chaotic lives with the fact that they've made poor choices.
One of my biggest things I try to do is teach Bee (and eventually J) that the things they do have consequences...both good and bad. Hopefully they'll be able to accept a little accountability, and make the connection between good choices and a good life.
Not that good choices mean your life will be easy. Easy and good are not the same. But that's a WHOLE different post.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sign language
We happened into baby signing by accident...our friends the Wisemans (we love and miss you, if you happen upon this!) whose kids did baby signs were watching Bee for a few mornings. She came home signing, and I had to learn to keep up! It ended up being great (although watching the videos was what started doing ANY TV at our house....I guess everything has a give and take). We loved signing, and Bee even signed a little bit with a guy who thought we knew way more signs than we did! :-)
Anyway. This comic, once again, reflects my life in eerie ways. My highly verbal child, who I wish would sign/say things like "I love you Mom" usually tends more towards "I don't like dinner, and I won't eat it" sorts of things.
Anyway. This comic, once again, reflects my life in eerie ways. My highly verbal child, who I wish would sign/say things like "I love you Mom" usually tends more towards "I don't like dinner, and I won't eat it" sorts of things.
Friday, November 6, 2009
I live for student errors
Not in a bad way. They just make things fun....lighten up a two-hour stretch of grading. This was brought on by this:
"Es en exilio porque es un guillermo"
The poor kid meant "guerrillero," but the thought of someone being exiled for being a William sent me into peals of laughter.
"Es en exilio porque es un guillermo"
The poor kid meant "guerrillero," but the thought of someone being exiled for being a William sent me into peals of laughter.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Procrastination
I've needed to grade my students' exams since Monday. Instead, I've crocheted a while on a present for someone who may read this and therefore must remain nameless, cleaned my house multiple times, found recipes for pupusas (which I LOVE and want to make this weekend....I learned on the mission, but had some supervision...we'll see how it goes alone), and now posted on my blog.
I did at least do some searches for my list for quals...funny how procrastinating one thing made progress for something else. At least I got SOMETHING out of it all.
I am completely lacking in motivation these days.
I did at least do some searches for my list for quals...funny how procrastinating one thing made progress for something else. At least I got SOMETHING out of it all.
I am completely lacking in motivation these days.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Soooo.....
....I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling a little more angry and cranky about being cooped up with my kids today (and just in general) that I feel is good/healthy/whatever. My theories:
1) I need to do something academic to feel good about the rest of my life
2) Having academic work hanging over my head ruins the kid time
3) I'm totally off and it's caused by something unrelated to either the kids or academia
Any advice, anyone??
1) I need to do something academic to feel good about the rest of my life
2) Having academic work hanging over my head ruins the kid time
3) I'm totally off and it's caused by something unrelated to either the kids or academia
Any advice, anyone??
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Absolutely incredible
No, I'm not posting on the rudeness of the kids I handed out candy to last night...I'm saving that for another day. Or hopefully I'll just get over it entirely.
What I'm amazed about is the fact that the woman who won the NYC marathon did it in 2:28:52. That's an average of 5:42 per mile. To put that in context, when I was running and doing a decent job of it (nothing terribly phenomenal, though I do still hold ONE record at my old high school...I imagine that won't last long), I could bust out a SINGLE mile in 5:54. And it was really hard, and I was always really tired. She did it faster than me, and then kept going that fast...for 25 more miles!
Ben's response was "It's not insane, it's all a state of mind." My response to him was "When either of us can run 26 miles that fast, then I'll believe that it's all in your head!"
:-)
What I'm amazed about is the fact that the woman who won the NYC marathon did it in 2:28:52. That's an average of 5:42 per mile. To put that in context, when I was running and doing a decent job of it (nothing terribly phenomenal, though I do still hold ONE record at my old high school...I imagine that won't last long), I could bust out a SINGLE mile in 5:54. And it was really hard, and I was always really tired. She did it faster than me, and then kept going that fast...for 25 more miles!
Ben's response was "It's not insane, it's all a state of mind." My response to him was "When either of us can run 26 miles that fast, then I'll believe that it's all in your head!"
:-)
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thank heaven...
...for the lack of H1N1 vaccines! We (meaning Bee and I) took baby J to the pediatrician for a well-baby visit. He got the round of usual shots for a baby his age, but they were OUT of H1N1, so I didn't have to go through my "I only do the immunizations that my kids have to have in order to get visas for traveling some day when they're bigger" schpeal that I've done so many other times. Hooray!
One of the questions that I asked while we were there was about J's funny little pirate-ish crawl. I say pirate-ish, because it's sort of like a peg-legged pirate. He reaches with his right arm, and pushes with his right knee (so with his right side he's lifted up, like you think of when a baby crawls), but on his left side he crawls using his elbow and a straighter leg. The pediatrician looked at me and said "when he crawls? He's barely six months old!" I said yes. She said not to worry about a-symmetrical crawling until he's about nine months old. So that's good. He can keep on being a pirate. :-)
On a totally unrelated note, I hate preparing for qualifying exams. One of my friends (who is a much better student and had much more time to prepare than I will!) just failed his quals. He has the exact same committee as I do. This does not make me hopeful. Add to that the fact that I'm in this sort of endless "I'm building my lists" phase, during which I do nothing but add to a bibliography of things that seem important but I have no way of knowing because I've never done this before...and well, I feel even less like I belong in a PhD program than usual!
One of the questions that I asked while we were there was about J's funny little pirate-ish crawl. I say pirate-ish, because it's sort of like a peg-legged pirate. He reaches with his right arm, and pushes with his right knee (so with his right side he's lifted up, like you think of when a baby crawls), but on his left side he crawls using his elbow and a straighter leg. The pediatrician looked at me and said "when he crawls? He's barely six months old!" I said yes. She said not to worry about a-symmetrical crawling until he's about nine months old. So that's good. He can keep on being a pirate. :-)
On a totally unrelated note, I hate preparing for qualifying exams. One of my friends (who is a much better student and had much more time to prepare than I will!) just failed his quals. He has the exact same committee as I do. This does not make me hopeful. Add to that the fact that I'm in this sort of endless "I'm building my lists" phase, during which I do nothing but add to a bibliography of things that seem important but I have no way of knowing because I've never done this before...and well, I feel even less like I belong in a PhD program than usual!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Good weekend
This weekend was good...we managed a nice combination of outside, inside, and in-between things.
Outside, we went to the farmer's market, the orchard, and out to Yellowwood. I'm always a little sad when the farmer's market starts to wind down....first you see the selection dwindle a bit, then fewer and fewer vendors come until I'm buying from folks I didn't buy from in the summer. But the music was still good!
At the orchard we tasted some delicious apples I had never heard of before. They're called "hidden rose" apples. They were selling them by the peck, which we can't use because it would go bad before we ate that many....but the dad in the family that owns the place recognized us as familiar faces when he was ringing up our stuff (on the till that doesn't process credit cards or checks!) and let us toss a couple into Bee's bag. I like to get a bag of apples there, even though it's a tad more expensive than at the store, for a couple of reasons. 1st, they're a local place owned by a really cute young-ish family, and they do lots of work toward feeding needy people in the community. 2nd, they have the best cider I've ever tasted...well, except maybe for place we used to go with Mamaw. 3rd, they do organic growing. It's nice to know that my kids won't sprout extra eyes from eating their apples. 4th, the apples are small! Like the size they're supposed to be. Which means that Bee can eat a whole one, with no waste involved. Always good.
We were a little early for good color at Yellowwood, but we had fun skipping rocks, and climbing the "mountain" (the dam for the lake).
The inside stuff isn't as cool, but it's stuff that makes me happy. I told my friend Julie that she solved all my problems by keeping my kids for a couple of hours on Saturday. We painted a dresser for Bee (the dresser, paint, and new paint brush all totaled less than $40....not bad for a dresser). Which means we could take apart and put away the changing table and put Baby J's clothes into Bee's old dresser, put Bee's clothes into her new dresser, and move the furniture so the kids are in the same room and we have our room back! YAY!
Besides the painting, we also went food storage shopping. We bought so much bulk stuff that the guy at the market threw our salt and vinegar chips (which I loved but Ben didn't think were so stellar) in for free! Another YAY!
To top it all, (even though it's not really the weekend it's still good!) Bee was good and obedient in her ballet class today. It made me smile.
And that's about it!
Outside, we went to the farmer's market, the orchard, and out to Yellowwood. I'm always a little sad when the farmer's market starts to wind down....first you see the selection dwindle a bit, then fewer and fewer vendors come until I'm buying from folks I didn't buy from in the summer. But the music was still good!
At the orchard we tasted some delicious apples I had never heard of before. They're called "hidden rose" apples. They were selling them by the peck, which we can't use because it would go bad before we ate that many....but the dad in the family that owns the place recognized us as familiar faces when he was ringing up our stuff (on the till that doesn't process credit cards or checks!) and let us toss a couple into Bee's bag. I like to get a bag of apples there, even though it's a tad more expensive than at the store, for a couple of reasons. 1st, they're a local place owned by a really cute young-ish family, and they do lots of work toward feeding needy people in the community. 2nd, they have the best cider I've ever tasted...well, except maybe for place we used to go with Mamaw. 3rd, they do organic growing. It's nice to know that my kids won't sprout extra eyes from eating their apples. 4th, the apples are small! Like the size they're supposed to be. Which means that Bee can eat a whole one, with no waste involved. Always good.
We were a little early for good color at Yellowwood, but we had fun skipping rocks, and climbing the "mountain" (the dam for the lake).
The inside stuff isn't as cool, but it's stuff that makes me happy. I told my friend Julie that she solved all my problems by keeping my kids for a couple of hours on Saturday. We painted a dresser for Bee (the dresser, paint, and new paint brush all totaled less than $40....not bad for a dresser). Which means we could take apart and put away the changing table and put Baby J's clothes into Bee's old dresser, put Bee's clothes into her new dresser, and move the furniture so the kids are in the same room and we have our room back! YAY!
Besides the painting, we also went food storage shopping. We bought so much bulk stuff that the guy at the market threw our salt and vinegar chips (which I loved but Ben didn't think were so stellar) in for free! Another YAY!
To top it all, (even though it's not really the weekend it's still good!) Bee was good and obedient in her ballet class today. It made me smile.
And that's about it!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Ballet day
Thankfully, today went much better than the last ballet class. I've reconsidered the disowning.
Because of last Monday's fiasco (which I don't think I'll ever even be able to talk about entirely on here), we've worked on revamping some things....like time-out in her room instead of the time-out chair (thus eliminating further "look, I'm getting out of the chair" power plays), quiet time instead of nap time (eliminating the fight over a nap, and resulting in her putting herself down about half the time), putting her food where she can get at it herself when she wants it (in a lower, reachable shelf in the fridge, eliminating the "now you're sitting down with J latched on and milk letting down, I think I'll ask you for my juice!" stuff), and just generally trying to not be quite as compulsive about control as I have been for the last three years!
She's enjoying the independence, I'm enjoying the lack of headache, and things are going much more smoothly at our house. And when battles that deserve to be fought (like not laying on Baby J, going to bed at bedtime, etc) come up, they seem less like a crisis, are more quickly resolved, and leave us both with energy to talk about them instead of just getting mad.
So while it was a painful day a week ago, it has resulted in good and (I think) inspired things. At least something productive came out of it all!
Because of last Monday's fiasco (which I don't think I'll ever even be able to talk about entirely on here), we've worked on revamping some things....like time-out in her room instead of the time-out chair (thus eliminating further "look, I'm getting out of the chair" power plays), quiet time instead of nap time (eliminating the fight over a nap, and resulting in her putting herself down about half the time), putting her food where she can get at it herself when she wants it (in a lower, reachable shelf in the fridge, eliminating the "now you're sitting down with J latched on and milk letting down, I think I'll ask you for my juice!" stuff), and just generally trying to not be quite as compulsive about control as I have been for the last three years!
She's enjoying the independence, I'm enjoying the lack of headache, and things are going much more smoothly at our house. And when battles that deserve to be fought (like not laying on Baby J, going to bed at bedtime, etc) come up, they seem less like a crisis, are more quickly resolved, and leave us both with energy to talk about them instead of just getting mad.
So while it was a painful day a week ago, it has resulted in good and (I think) inspired things. At least something productive came out of it all!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
What I used to want to be when I grew up
A long time ago, I wanted to excavate fossils. As my job. And I wanted to discover new dinosaurs and anything I could about what we used to be like.
This article is really cool. It reminds me of a story that we read in Prof. Pratt's class. (I must be honest and admit that I don't remember which one, but I think it was by Pardo Bazan) And it makes me just a teensy bit sad that I'm still in graduate school poring over books and not out digging in the dirt.
This article is really cool. It reminds me of a story that we read in Prof. Pratt's class. (I must be honest and admit that I don't remember which one, but I think it was by Pardo Bazan) And it makes me just a teensy bit sad that I'm still in graduate school poring over books and not out digging in the dirt.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Glenn Beck
So, I don't watch the guy. Mostly because he makes me mad. (I'm so articulate today, aren't I?)
But I recently read an article in Time magazine where they quoted him as having said
"Let me tell you something. I believe that if it were up to you or me, just regular schmoes in America, the Freedom Tower would have been done years ago. And it wouldn't have been the Freedom Tower; it would have been the Freedom Towers — because we would've built both of these towers back the way they were before! Except we would've built them stronger! We would've built them in a way that they would've resisted attack. And you know what? My guess is they would've been 25 stories taller, with a big, fat 'Come and Try That Again' sign on top. We would've built it with our bare hands if we had to, because that's what Americans do. When we fail, when we face a crisis, we pull ourselves up and make things better. I believe the only reason we haven't built it isn't because of Americans. It's because we're being held back. And who is holding us back? Politicians. Special-interest groups. Political correctness. You name it — everybody but you."
All I have to say about that is this:
I think it may have been true of the Americans of 150 years ago for sure, probably of those from 100 years back....maybe even 50. But it's not true of us now. We're waaaaaaaayyyyyy too lazy and conceited and self-satisfied to describe ourselves that way now.
You can watch his video on it here.
I'm wondering why he didn't address this rant to the Bush White House??
But I recently read an article in Time magazine where they quoted him as having said
"Let me tell you something. I believe that if it were up to you or me, just regular schmoes in America, the Freedom Tower would have been done years ago. And it wouldn't have been the Freedom Tower; it would have been the Freedom Towers — because we would've built both of these towers back the way they were before! Except we would've built them stronger! We would've built them in a way that they would've resisted attack. And you know what? My guess is they would've been 25 stories taller, with a big, fat 'Come and Try That Again' sign on top. We would've built it with our bare hands if we had to, because that's what Americans do. When we fail, when we face a crisis, we pull ourselves up and make things better. I believe the only reason we haven't built it isn't because of Americans. It's because we're being held back. And who is holding us back? Politicians. Special-interest groups. Political correctness. You name it — everybody but you."
All I have to say about that is this:
I think it may have been true of the Americans of 150 years ago for sure, probably of those from 100 years back....maybe even 50. But it's not true of us now. We're waaaaaaaayyyyyy too lazy and conceited and self-satisfied to describe ourselves that way now.
You can watch his video on it here.
I'm wondering why he didn't address this rant to the Bush White House??
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Breastfeeding (YET again)
Articles like this one make me think. (Thanks AL :-)
They also make me get angry. There are two things that I get angry about in conjunction with the whole breastfeeding/formula debate.
The first one is important but not as personal for me, and has to do with America, its empire, and the business practices of American companies. I was thinking (just today, actually) about how interesting it is that in large measure the classification of a nation as "developing" from an American perspective largely means "able to be exploited for profit, either by stealing their resources or marketing to them in an underhanded way." I think that this article about the aggressive advertising/unjust pushing of formula by these companies illustrates that point. Why do we think we have the right? Just because we have more money. And why do we have more money? Because we have a strong military and enough financial clout (though at least this seems to be changing, to some extent) to land unfair advantages when it comes to our money dealings with these same countries!
The second on is far more personal and much more important to me, and has to do with women and their phenomenal capabilities that are to a huge extent undervalued. It's no secret that our world is a patriarchal one (with some really cool but really rare matriarchal exceptions that are fast being labeled "primitive" or just plain stamped out). The work that women do goes unnoticed by pretty much everyone but them (unless they have exceptional husbands and families....which I like to think I do ;-). The fact that a group of doctors, nutritionists, and businessmen all got together and decided that they would be able to convince the child-bearing population that they (the men) could do a mother's job of nurturing her child better than she can, just pisses me off. And reflects the larger problem of a masculinist society's denigration of a woman's work in general, aimed at creating a self-deprecating self-perception within her.
So stand up. Tell them they're wrong. Breastfeed your baby.
They also make me get angry. There are two things that I get angry about in conjunction with the whole breastfeeding/formula debate.
The first one is important but not as personal for me, and has to do with America, its empire, and the business practices of American companies. I was thinking (just today, actually) about how interesting it is that in large measure the classification of a nation as "developing" from an American perspective largely means "able to be exploited for profit, either by stealing their resources or marketing to them in an underhanded way." I think that this article about the aggressive advertising/unjust pushing of formula by these companies illustrates that point. Why do we think we have the right? Just because we have more money. And why do we have more money? Because we have a strong military and enough financial clout (though at least this seems to be changing, to some extent) to land unfair advantages when it comes to our money dealings with these same countries!
The second on is far more personal and much more important to me, and has to do with women and their phenomenal capabilities that are to a huge extent undervalued. It's no secret that our world is a patriarchal one (with some really cool but really rare matriarchal exceptions that are fast being labeled "primitive" or just plain stamped out). The work that women do goes unnoticed by pretty much everyone but them (unless they have exceptional husbands and families....which I like to think I do ;-). The fact that a group of doctors, nutritionists, and businessmen all got together and decided that they would be able to convince the child-bearing population that they (the men) could do a mother's job of nurturing her child better than she can, just pisses me off. And reflects the larger problem of a masculinist society's denigration of a woman's work in general, aimed at creating a self-deprecating self-perception within her.
So stand up. Tell them they're wrong. Breastfeed your baby.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thinking, doing, being
So, I've recently become somewhat embroiled in a series of technology etiquette breaches involving comments made specifically about me being addressed to large groups of people. I've been pretty okay with it, I think....but really the whole thing just reinforces the more general alienation that I feel from my acquired family. (I like saying that better than "in-laws"...it reminds me that I did choose them, in however remote a way)
This has caused me to start thinking about how I think, what I do, and who I am. I have realized that through the course of my education I've observed the necessity of evaluating multiple sources and opinions, taking into account the ultimate motivation, agenda, and source of each. This makes me feel mostly overwhelmed, like I can't make a good decision because there are SO MANY options, many with viable points, and some that should be disqualified because of conflicts of interests. I think in a roundabout way, and get bogged down by feeling like I need to evaluate as much as I can (which in this information age is a staggering amount of information).
Thinking this way has caused me to be more cautious about my actions, especially when they involve or affect other people. I always read things that I send, think about things I say, and question things I'm going to do, before I send, say, or do them. I've become much more cautious about my actions than I was before I went to college (at both the extremely conservative and the extremely liberal institutions I've attended).
Acting this way has caused me to become the object of derision in one segment of my family, and a source of pride in another, a misfit to some extent in both. But I'm happy with myself. And that, of course, is a good thing...one that matters more than the other stuff.
I revealed a secret to Ben last night. I feel like I can't quite articulate it without coming across like I think I'm so wise or experienced. Which is not my intent. But what I think is this: if I were an older woman, fewer of the people in my life who have problems with my thinking, doing, and being, would have problems with them. So why is it that we've created a society where young women who are sure of themselves (albeit wrong, at times), whether in terms of their thinking, doing, or being, are viewed as pariahs??
This has caused me to start thinking about how I think, what I do, and who I am. I have realized that through the course of my education I've observed the necessity of evaluating multiple sources and opinions, taking into account the ultimate motivation, agenda, and source of each. This makes me feel mostly overwhelmed, like I can't make a good decision because there are SO MANY options, many with viable points, and some that should be disqualified because of conflicts of interests. I think in a roundabout way, and get bogged down by feeling like I need to evaluate as much as I can (which in this information age is a staggering amount of information).
Thinking this way has caused me to be more cautious about my actions, especially when they involve or affect other people. I always read things that I send, think about things I say, and question things I'm going to do, before I send, say, or do them. I've become much more cautious about my actions than I was before I went to college (at both the extremely conservative and the extremely liberal institutions I've attended).
Acting this way has caused me to become the object of derision in one segment of my family, and a source of pride in another, a misfit to some extent in both. But I'm happy with myself. And that, of course, is a good thing...one that matters more than the other stuff.
I revealed a secret to Ben last night. I feel like I can't quite articulate it without coming across like I think I'm so wise or experienced. Which is not my intent. But what I think is this: if I were an older woman, fewer of the people in my life who have problems with my thinking, doing, and being, would have problems with them. So why is it that we've created a society where young women who are sure of themselves (albeit wrong, at times), whether in terms of their thinking, doing, or being, are viewed as pariahs??
Monday, August 31, 2009
BREARGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
So, after arriving at the doctor's office where I waited half an hour to spend 3 minutes with the nurse, waited another half an hour to spend 5 minutes with the pediatrician, and then waited another 15 minutes to spend 2 minutes with the gal (whatever her title is) that jammed three needles into my baby, I ran to Ivy's house (who once again saved my life by taking the kids to the sitter's [thanks Chanel]), nursed James, changed clothes, buckled the kids up, drove (almost) under the speed limit to campus, parked in a miraculously available spot, and RAN to my class, arriving two minutes before it was scheduled to start.
Did I mention that all of that was preceded by getting up early to make dinner so all Ben would have to do is put it on the stove, packing up for the day out, showering me and Bee and bathing J, going to ballet for half an hour, having a picnic at the park, and planning the first In-Class Writing assignment for S250 that's due on Wednesday?
I now have large blisters on both feet. The only thing that I forgot to pack for our all-day, various-destinationed excursion, was stockings. At least students don't notice that, I guess.
It's not every day that I'll go from nursing a baby while wearing slob clothes to teaching a class looking pretty darn stellar (if I do say so myself) within a half hour span.
And thank goodness for that.
Did I mention that all of that was preceded by getting up early to make dinner so all Ben would have to do is put it on the stove, packing up for the day out, showering me and Bee and bathing J, going to ballet for half an hour, having a picnic at the park, and planning the first In-Class Writing assignment for S250 that's due on Wednesday?
I now have large blisters on both feet. The only thing that I forgot to pack for our all-day, various-destinationed excursion, was stockings. At least students don't notice that, I guess.
It's not every day that I'll go from nursing a baby while wearing slob clothes to teaching a class looking pretty darn stellar (if I do say so myself) within a half hour span.
And thank goodness for that.
Monday, August 24, 2009
"Stop acting like your sister!"
Well. I've meant to blog about an observation I made in the park this weekend and have only now managed to get to it. So here goes.
We recently discovered a new park...don't know how I didn't know about it, we're going into our third year here. But anyway. I'm convinced it's one of the coolest parks I've ever seen. There's a playground that's probably 2.5-3 stories high (I'm not exaggerating, Ben backs me up on that) with bridges and tall twisty slides, and all sorts of climbing devices. Then there's a littler playground for toddler-sized kids. Add in a 10 foot pole with spiderweb-like climbing ropes and a ford where the water drains down, and it's just plain cool. So we went there to hang out after we went to the farmer's market on Saturday (where I bought raspberries AND flowers for myself, along with many things to make into Baby J's first foods).
While we were at the park I took to observing this family...I promise I wasn't being weird. The little girl was wearing an awesome hoodie, and I wanted to watch them interact to decide if the mom was the sort I could comfortably approach to ask where she got it (I decided that one was a no...you'll see why in just a sec). There was an 18-month-old or so little girl (the cute hoodie observation instigator), a 5-year-old boy (sporting a blue Batman shirt), a mom in her early 30s (very blonde and wearing exercise pants of the 'let me show you my exact figure' sort), and a dad about her same age (wearing 'I'm a cool guy' sunglasses and looking very much like he wanted to come across as a bad a**). They looked like a cute and happy family by all accounts. I don't want the story I'm going to write to come across as a sweeping judgment of their entire existence. It's just one incident. The dad was "helping" (here read literally forcing and physically manipulating the limbs of) his little boy up a climbing apparatus. The whole time, the cute, very sweet-seeming little boy (who I had watched kiss his little sister with no encouragement a couple of times) screamed "I want MOM, dad, let me DOWN, GET ME DOWN!!!" and similar things. Eventually dad hopped him down from the climbing wall and said "Stop acting like your sister!!"
I was so upset by the whole thing. Again, I don't think that this family is messed up, or that the parents do a bad job. I just think that whether he criticized the little boy's fear as being either effeminate or baby-ish, it's an inappropriate criticism. I get a little bit frustrated with this whole idea of needing to make boys be bold, fearless, physical...whatever you want to call it. And the idea of making little girls dependent. I think we just have to let kids be the way they are (unless, no matter the gender of the kid, it's destructive or dangerous) and help them be happy with it!
We recently discovered a new park...don't know how I didn't know about it, we're going into our third year here. But anyway. I'm convinced it's one of the coolest parks I've ever seen. There's a playground that's probably 2.5-3 stories high (I'm not exaggerating, Ben backs me up on that) with bridges and tall twisty slides, and all sorts of climbing devices. Then there's a littler playground for toddler-sized kids. Add in a 10 foot pole with spiderweb-like climbing ropes and a ford where the water drains down, and it's just plain cool. So we went there to hang out after we went to the farmer's market on Saturday (where I bought raspberries AND flowers for myself, along with many things to make into Baby J's first foods).
While we were at the park I took to observing this family...I promise I wasn't being weird. The little girl was wearing an awesome hoodie, and I wanted to watch them interact to decide if the mom was the sort I could comfortably approach to ask where she got it (I decided that one was a no...you'll see why in just a sec). There was an 18-month-old or so little girl (the cute hoodie observation instigator), a 5-year-old boy (sporting a blue Batman shirt), a mom in her early 30s (very blonde and wearing exercise pants of the 'let me show you my exact figure' sort), and a dad about her same age (wearing 'I'm a cool guy' sunglasses and looking very much like he wanted to come across as a bad a**). They looked like a cute and happy family by all accounts. I don't want the story I'm going to write to come across as a sweeping judgment of their entire existence. It's just one incident. The dad was "helping" (here read literally forcing and physically manipulating the limbs of) his little boy up a climbing apparatus. The whole time, the cute, very sweet-seeming little boy (who I had watched kiss his little sister with no encouragement a couple of times) screamed "I want MOM, dad, let me DOWN, GET ME DOWN!!!" and similar things. Eventually dad hopped him down from the climbing wall and said "Stop acting like your sister!!"
I was so upset by the whole thing. Again, I don't think that this family is messed up, or that the parents do a bad job. I just think that whether he criticized the little boy's fear as being either effeminate or baby-ish, it's an inappropriate criticism. I get a little bit frustrated with this whole idea of needing to make boys be bold, fearless, physical...whatever you want to call it. And the idea of making little girls dependent. I think we just have to let kids be the way they are (unless, no matter the gender of the kid, it's destructive or dangerous) and help them be happy with it!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Back to school, me and Bee
I'm SO glad that I'm done with coursework. I just have to worry about teaching, and I finally got my schedule. I'm only going to have to leave my babies for an hour on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday! Thanks to some good colleagues/friends who are willing to switch with me, I'll be teaching in the evening. I'm so excited that their desire to not teach in the evening coincided with my desire to not leave my kids during the day! I won't see Ben a whole lot those days, but the kids will be with one of us. Not that I'm terribly worried about leaving them...one of my great friends in the ward here is going to take care of my little ones. I'm so GLAD! There's something about being able to get my escape without feeling like I'm deserting my family.
And Bee is going to start ballet classes! She has been rather obsessed with ballet ever since she read the copy of Angelina Ballerina that my great grandma (Mamaw) gave me when I was a little girl. We found a place for her to go that does sort of basic movement things. I'm hoping it will help her with her jumping, running...big motor things. She can cut with big scissors and take DVDs out of the case without scratching them, but she can't kick a ball!
While I have those goals, her highlight of the whole thing is her new dance wardrobe: a black leotard that (shocker to a lot of you, I'll bet) was mine when I was little. (Courtesy of my Aunt T, who had it since her girls used it for their dance classes (thanks T!).) And I also bought her a pink one...which, once she didn't have Legos to be interested in, became her new favorite thing. When I asked if she would take it off to put on her pjs for bed, she said "I don't think so Momma. I'll just wear it." We did finally reach an agreement, but it took some doing.
I'm so glad that she's stand-uppy enough to tell me what she wants!!!
And Bee is going to start ballet classes! She has been rather obsessed with ballet ever since she read the copy of Angelina Ballerina that my great grandma (Mamaw) gave me when I was a little girl. We found a place for her to go that does sort of basic movement things. I'm hoping it will help her with her jumping, running...big motor things. She can cut with big scissors and take DVDs out of the case without scratching them, but she can't kick a ball!
While I have those goals, her highlight of the whole thing is her new dance wardrobe: a black leotard that (shocker to a lot of you, I'll bet) was mine when I was little. (Courtesy of my Aunt T, who had it since her girls used it for their dance classes (thanks T!).) And I also bought her a pink one...which, once she didn't have Legos to be interested in, became her new favorite thing. When I asked if she would take it off to put on her pjs for bed, she said "I don't think so Momma. I'll just wear it." We did finally reach an agreement, but it took some doing.
I'm so glad that she's stand-uppy enough to tell me what she wants!!!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I'm officially a stay-at-home mom
And I know this at least in part because I have numerous things to blog about, none of which will be particularly interesting to anyone else, but I find at least amusing, if not exciting.
The first is (I hope) an actually exciting thing. We blessed baby today. (I still can't think of a nickname for him here) Ben did a great job, I thought the blessing was beautiful. Both granddads and a friend stood in the circle. And baby J was good and happy for the whole thing! Gran made him a blessing outfit (if I ever get to a good internet connection I'll post a pic) that was darling. So now we have a boy and a girl version of blessing garb. Hooray!
The next is (I'm sure) not even mildly exciting to anyone but me (with my compulsion for order in my existence). This week while my kids were taking SIMULTANEOUS NAPS (can't begin to express my happiness about THAT one, and yes, I know my days are numbered) I managed to clean out both Ben's and my clothes closet, the linen closet, the kids' closet, and the downstairs coat closet. And yes, that is ALL of my closets! And I'm talking a serious, really go through and throw stuff out version of cleaning them out. My little house is as ordered as it can possibly be. And that makes my brain function a lot better than it might otherwise.
The last is (I would swear to it) hilarious. We were listening to "The Ballad of Davy Crockett" from a Disney excerpts CD. After it was over, Bee hollered out "I want Baby Pocket, mom!" It was definitely the highlight of the day.
So I'm thinking about how it's odd that mundane things can be so fulfilling. I mean, during the school year there's no way I'd be excited about clean closets. I really think that I'm adaptable to my circumstances...and it's a good thing, or I'd be going absolutely nuts.
The first is (I hope) an actually exciting thing. We blessed baby today. (I still can't think of a nickname for him here) Ben did a great job, I thought the blessing was beautiful. Both granddads and a friend stood in the circle. And baby J was good and happy for the whole thing! Gran made him a blessing outfit (if I ever get to a good internet connection I'll post a pic) that was darling. So now we have a boy and a girl version of blessing garb. Hooray!
The next is (I'm sure) not even mildly exciting to anyone but me (with my compulsion for order in my existence). This week while my kids were taking SIMULTANEOUS NAPS (can't begin to express my happiness about THAT one, and yes, I know my days are numbered) I managed to clean out both Ben's and my clothes closet, the linen closet, the kids' closet, and the downstairs coat closet. And yes, that is ALL of my closets! And I'm talking a serious, really go through and throw stuff out version of cleaning them out. My little house is as ordered as it can possibly be. And that makes my brain function a lot better than it might otherwise.
The last is (I would swear to it) hilarious. We were listening to "The Ballad of Davy Crockett" from a Disney excerpts CD. After it was over, Bee hollered out "I want Baby Pocket, mom!" It was definitely the highlight of the day.
So I'm thinking about how it's odd that mundane things can be so fulfilling. I mean, during the school year there's no way I'd be excited about clean closets. I really think that I'm adaptable to my circumstances...and it's a good thing, or I'd be going absolutely nuts.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
A poll
So. Arising from a conversation with Ben during our 13+ hour drive to vacation....
Who is cooler, James Bond or Jason Bourne? You must justify your answer. (That's why it's not a sidebar poll)
Who is cooler, James Bond or Jason Bourne? You must justify your answer. (That's why it's not a sidebar poll)
Monday, July 13, 2009
Closet sleeping and other observations
We're at the beach in Bethany Beach, Delaware. We come here every summer with Ben's family, and it's one of the most fun things I get to do. I love it!
We rented a car to drive over, and on Friday I busted my butt to get my house totally clean, all the laundry done, and things packed in a way that would facilitate the trip. I must have climbed my stairs 70 times, even to the point that I was sore the next day. I now have infinitely more respect for my mom's preparation when I was little, that I didn't even know happened!
So, to the point of this. Bee has decided that the best place for her to sleep this trip is a closet that's about as wide as she is long, and about as deep as the length of my forearm. She was so excited about it, it made me think that the world would be a much better place if we were all content to sleep in a space just big enough for us.
Similarly, I've been really glad lately that I'm kind of a minimalist parent. By this I don't mean in terms of the attention I spend on my kids....I mean all the STUFF that people try to convince you that you need for kids. We had about 4 hours worth of kid movies (Veggie Tales and Clifford the Big Red Dog) on my teeny computer that Bee could watch, and a magnadoodle that was a cool new toy for her. We were on the road for about 15 hours, and not once did she do that "I want to get out of the car/are we there yet" thing. I firmly believe that the reason she is so self-contained is that she doesn't expect to be constantly entertained.
Tangentially, we took 40 over for part of the trip instead of coming all the way over on 70, just to break up the monotony. It was BEAUTIFUL! I really like small-town America, and we drove through the Eastern version of mountains, all greeny and misty. It was gorgeous.
Best of all, I got to eat boardwalk fries. I'm loving life.
We rented a car to drive over, and on Friday I busted my butt to get my house totally clean, all the laundry done, and things packed in a way that would facilitate the trip. I must have climbed my stairs 70 times, even to the point that I was sore the next day. I now have infinitely more respect for my mom's preparation when I was little, that I didn't even know happened!
So, to the point of this. Bee has decided that the best place for her to sleep this trip is a closet that's about as wide as she is long, and about as deep as the length of my forearm. She was so excited about it, it made me think that the world would be a much better place if we were all content to sleep in a space just big enough for us.
Similarly, I've been really glad lately that I'm kind of a minimalist parent. By this I don't mean in terms of the attention I spend on my kids....I mean all the STUFF that people try to convince you that you need for kids. We had about 4 hours worth of kid movies (Veggie Tales and Clifford the Big Red Dog) on my teeny computer that Bee could watch, and a magnadoodle that was a cool new toy for her. We were on the road for about 15 hours, and not once did she do that "I want to get out of the car/are we there yet" thing. I firmly believe that the reason she is so self-contained is that she doesn't expect to be constantly entertained.
Tangentially, we took 40 over for part of the trip instead of coming all the way over on 70, just to break up the monotony. It was BEAUTIFUL! I really like small-town America, and we drove through the Eastern version of mountains, all greeny and misty. It was gorgeous.
Best of all, I got to eat boardwalk fries. I'm loving life.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
House shopping?
So, Ben got a job. HOORAY! (And there is MUCH rejoicing...)
Since then we've been kicking around the idea of buying a house, and poking around just to see what we can find. I'm really excited and have found some good looking ones online (who knows what they look like for real, we'll have to go see them in person). We've got pretty specific criteria (3 bedrooms, within 15 miles of campus and Ben's work, a fairly limited budget, something of a yard, not-scary neighborhood, etc), so I was surprised to have turned up so many. Anyway, we've got to go drive by about 20 places and decide which ones we actually want to go into and see.
While I'm very excited, I'm also completely terrified. I know NOTHING about the process other than a very basic sketchy outline-type knowledge. And as if that isn't enough, we'd be looking at needing to re-sell somewhat shortly, and the terrible market scares me for that.
Anyway. Those are my rambling thoughts. We'll see how it all goes.
Since then we've been kicking around the idea of buying a house, and poking around just to see what we can find. I'm really excited and have found some good looking ones online (who knows what they look like for real, we'll have to go see them in person). We've got pretty specific criteria (3 bedrooms, within 15 miles of campus and Ben's work, a fairly limited budget, something of a yard, not-scary neighborhood, etc), so I was surprised to have turned up so many. Anyway, we've got to go drive by about 20 places and decide which ones we actually want to go into and see.
While I'm very excited, I'm also completely terrified. I know NOTHING about the process other than a very basic sketchy outline-type knowledge. And as if that isn't enough, we'd be looking at needing to re-sell somewhat shortly, and the terrible market scares me for that.
Anyway. Those are my rambling thoughts. We'll see how it all goes.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Teenagers and toddlers
So, I finally get baby to fall asleep before midnight. The logical thing for me to do would be to take advantage of the situation and go to bed. And so here I am.
I've had a couple of power struggle moments with Bee in the last few days that have ended badly (read: a ten minute time-out one day, and a wailing child alone in the bathroom because she refused to do what she needed to there the next day). She's been a terror since her brother was born. The fact that I know that this is normal, developmentally appropriate behavior doesn't make it any better. The testing of limits she is doing is exhausting to me! Though my patience has developed to levels I never expected pre-children.
Toddlers are teenagers without the hormones and knowledge of the world that lets them make life-altering, at times poor decisions. In the light of Bee's recent rebellion, two experiences from the last few days have scared me to death.
I recently learned that two different but very dear teenagers in my life 1) have HPV and 2) bought cigarettes though not old enough to do so legally. I rather expected the first but was floored by the second.
I know that I can't "keep" my kids from making similar decisions. The decisions are theirs to make. I also know that there are certain things that I can do to help them choose good things on their own. My worry is actually based on my potential reaction to their choosing potentially destructive things. Will I be able to help them recover? I mean, I've seen firsthand that reacting the wrong way when your child screws up can help them justify further screwing up.
Any thoughts, anyone?
And, isn't it appropriate and revelatory that I'm worrying about this, given that neither of my children is even in school yet? Oh, what it's like to be a constant worry-er. :-)
I've had a couple of power struggle moments with Bee in the last few days that have ended badly (read: a ten minute time-out one day, and a wailing child alone in the bathroom because she refused to do what she needed to there the next day). She's been a terror since her brother was born. The fact that I know that this is normal, developmentally appropriate behavior doesn't make it any better. The testing of limits she is doing is exhausting to me! Though my patience has developed to levels I never expected pre-children.
Toddlers are teenagers without the hormones and knowledge of the world that lets them make life-altering, at times poor decisions. In the light of Bee's recent rebellion, two experiences from the last few days have scared me to death.
I recently learned that two different but very dear teenagers in my life 1) have HPV and 2) bought cigarettes though not old enough to do so legally. I rather expected the first but was floored by the second.
I know that I can't "keep" my kids from making similar decisions. The decisions are theirs to make. I also know that there are certain things that I can do to help them choose good things on their own. My worry is actually based on my potential reaction to their choosing potentially destructive things. Will I be able to help them recover? I mean, I've seen firsthand that reacting the wrong way when your child screws up can help them justify further screwing up.
Any thoughts, anyone?
And, isn't it appropriate and revelatory that I'm worrying about this, given that neither of my children is even in school yet? Oh, what it's like to be a constant worry-er. :-)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Child...!
So, I've been having an interesting 36 hours. For several reasons.
Our dryer, which I rely on to be able to use our cloth diapers (the brand/design they are won't line-dry fast enough for us to survive on the dozen we can afford...so I need the dryer!) stopped working mid-laundry day yesterday. Fortunately my dear friend Jen saved me this morning and is letting me dry all the wet things (the load from the dryer that didn't get done because it broke, the load from the washer that was next in line, and the diapers that were dirty that I'm washing now) at her house. As though that isn't totally stellar enough, she's going to let me steal her dryer when she moves next week! Which is a godsend (should that be capitalized?)for us. So though that resolved pretty phenomenally, it did create considerable stress.
Aside from that, I've also been dealing with some postpartum and starting birth control issues....which girls can imagine, and boys don't want to hear about. So I'll leave it at mentioning that for the last day or so pretty much everything has set me off and I'm trying hard to manage those emotions.
So (to the point of the post...but you need the context of my two traumas to know why I reacted the way I did!), today while Bee was playing at a friend's house, they had gotten into swimsuits to play in some water in the back yard. Come time to go, I needed to get her back into her real clothes so we could walk home. After each piece of clothing, she would walk away and I had to get her to come back. After repeating the process for panties and shorts, I told her to come back to get her shirt on. She came over and I started into a "you need to just come over and stay put until you're dressed" lecture. But I started off with an exasperated "Child...!" Before I could say anything else she said "of God?" Yeah. Can you spell guilt trip? I can. :-)
Our dryer, which I rely on to be able to use our cloth diapers (the brand/design they are won't line-dry fast enough for us to survive on the dozen we can afford...so I need the dryer!) stopped working mid-laundry day yesterday. Fortunately my dear friend Jen saved me this morning and is letting me dry all the wet things (the load from the dryer that didn't get done because it broke, the load from the washer that was next in line, and the diapers that were dirty that I'm washing now) at her house. As though that isn't totally stellar enough, she's going to let me steal her dryer when she moves next week! Which is a godsend (should that be capitalized?)for us. So though that resolved pretty phenomenally, it did create considerable stress.
Aside from that, I've also been dealing with some postpartum and starting birth control issues....which girls can imagine, and boys don't want to hear about. So I'll leave it at mentioning that for the last day or so pretty much everything has set me off and I'm trying hard to manage those emotions.
So (to the point of the post...but you need the context of my two traumas to know why I reacted the way I did!), today while Bee was playing at a friend's house, they had gotten into swimsuits to play in some water in the back yard. Come time to go, I needed to get her back into her real clothes so we could walk home. After each piece of clothing, she would walk away and I had to get her to come back. After repeating the process for panties and shorts, I told her to come back to get her shirt on. She came over and I started into a "you need to just come over and stay put until you're dressed" lecture. But I started off with an exasperated "Child...!" Before I could say anything else she said "of God?" Yeah. Can you spell guilt trip? I can. :-)
Friday, June 5, 2009
Things I love....
...about coming home to Ohio. I'm going to make a list.
1) Going to Gran's house to sew (we made a great dress for Bee this time)
2) Watching Bee play in the creek under the bridge
3) When my cell phone loses service as we drive down the lane into the valley
4) Taking off my sunglasses on the lane because there are so many trees I don't need them
5) Going over to T's house to listen to music, love her flowers, and talk
6) T's kids taking care of Bee and making her feel special
7) Watching everyone notice how round Baby's face has gotten
8) Helping out where I can wherever I am
9) Watching Numb3rs with the crowd at T's house
10) Familiar food (Ben points out that it is also free)
11) When Brendan shakes his hands like Gran
12) Looking at Colleen's quilts (a girl after my own heart!)
13) Seeing my Dad hold my babies
14) The community of women that is my family (we let the boys and the husbands hang out too)
15) Going to church in my home ward (even though I hardly know anyone any more)
16) People who love me, people I love
17) All the ANIMALS that Bee gets to watch in the Valley
18) Staying up late with EVERYONE!
19) Sleeping in
20) Watching how much all the cousins change, and grow, and love each other
There are more, but it's time to get kiddos settled. I LOVE to come home to Ohio. I wish
1) Going to Gran's house to sew (we made a great dress for Bee this time)
2) Watching Bee play in the creek under the bridge
3) When my cell phone loses service as we drive down the lane into the valley
4) Taking off my sunglasses on the lane because there are so many trees I don't need them
5) Going over to T's house to listen to music, love her flowers, and talk
6) T's kids taking care of Bee and making her feel special
7) Watching everyone notice how round Baby's face has gotten
8) Helping out where I can wherever I am
9) Watching Numb3rs with the crowd at T's house
10) Familiar food (Ben points out that it is also free)
11) When Brendan shakes his hands like Gran
12) Looking at Colleen's quilts (a girl after my own heart!)
13) Seeing my Dad hold my babies
14) The community of women that is my family (we let the boys and the husbands hang out too)
15) Going to church in my home ward (even though I hardly know anyone any more)
16) People who love me, people I love
17) All the ANIMALS that Bee gets to watch in the Valley
18) Staying up late with EVERYONE!
19) Sleeping in
20) Watching how much all the cousins change, and grow, and love each other
There are more, but it's time to get kiddos settled. I LOVE to come home to Ohio. I wish
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thank goodness....
....for an independent readings course. I've read five comedias each week for the last three weeks, and will do so for the next three weeks.
I've started to think that a comedia a day keeps postpartum depression away. :-) I've been planning projects to work on after the course is done, too. I just have to have something to remind me that there is more to me (and my life and overall existence) than making meals, disciplining a melt-down-inclined three-year-old, washing diapers and laundry, and being a milk machine.
I love being a mom, don't get me wrong. My friend Jen always says that I need to re-identify myself because the "feminist" label doesn't quite fit. (She most recently said this after learning that I had spent some time in the afternoon sewing the patches onto Ben's scout shirt...I usually don't use that statement to discuss the wide range of feminist possibilities). My kids and Ben are definitely the most fulfilling part of my existence. It's just nice to be able to have something to turn over in my head and use to ask questions about why we, as human beings, do some of the things we do.
And it avoids this. And this.
I've started to think that a comedia a day keeps postpartum depression away. :-) I've been planning projects to work on after the course is done, too. I just have to have something to remind me that there is more to me (and my life and overall existence) than making meals, disciplining a melt-down-inclined three-year-old, washing diapers and laundry, and being a milk machine.
I love being a mom, don't get me wrong. My friend Jen always says that I need to re-identify myself because the "feminist" label doesn't quite fit. (She most recently said this after learning that I had spent some time in the afternoon sewing the patches onto Ben's scout shirt...I usually don't use that statement to discuss the wide range of feminist possibilities). My kids and Ben are definitely the most fulfilling part of my existence. It's just nice to be able to have something to turn over in my head and use to ask questions about why we, as human beings, do some of the things we do.
And it avoids this. And this.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Unintentional conditioning
So last night Bee asked to listen to my Dixie Chicks "Fly" CD. I didn't know that she had ever listened to it.
The first track on the album is "Ready to Run." My three-year-old started singing with it. Knew almost every word. Apparently my music choices are already affecting her.
I guess there could be worse things....
The first track on the album is "Ready to Run." My three-year-old started singing with it. Knew almost every word. Apparently my music choices are already affecting her.
I guess there could be worse things....
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Breastfeeding (again)
So I know that I post on this a lot. But I feel strongly about it. And since I'm in the throes of getting it going again, I want to write about it.
When you talk to lactation consultants or read literature published by organizations like La Leche League, they always say things like "Breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt." What they need to specify is that that statement is only true if you have the perfectly shaped nipple, your baby will open wide enough initially to get the perfect "latch," your skin starts out nice and soft and supple, and your baby will nurse on both sides evenly every time.
THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN! Unless you happen to be some exquisitely blessed woman, it's going to be uncomfortable for at least a little while. In my case, it's been a pretty decent struggle both times, though it was worse with Bee than it has been this time around. Baby likes to nurse, and he nurses forever on both sides, which helps things. Bee didn't like to do either of those things.
Anyway. My point here is that it will probably hurt, and that's okay. Don't let people frustrate you with their "it won't hurt if you're doing it right" statements. My thought on that is that lactation consultants, like anyone else, need business. They say that it won't hurt if you're doing it right because they want you to come see them so that they can "help you do it right." I think a large part of what happens is really just that by the time you've had a couple of visits with them, it's been a couple of weeks and everyone involved (baby, mom, and breasts) have adjusted. Period.
So. Those are my thoughts. Probably tmi and totally unsolicited. But I was in the mood for a rant.
When you talk to lactation consultants or read literature published by organizations like La Leche League, they always say things like "Breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt." What they need to specify is that that statement is only true if you have the perfectly shaped nipple, your baby will open wide enough initially to get the perfect "latch," your skin starts out nice and soft and supple, and your baby will nurse on both sides evenly every time.
THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN! Unless you happen to be some exquisitely blessed woman, it's going to be uncomfortable for at least a little while. In my case, it's been a pretty decent struggle both times, though it was worse with Bee than it has been this time around. Baby likes to nurse, and he nurses forever on both sides, which helps things. Bee didn't like to do either of those things.
Anyway. My point here is that it will probably hurt, and that's okay. Don't let people frustrate you with their "it won't hurt if you're doing it right" statements. My thought on that is that lactation consultants, like anyone else, need business. They say that it won't hurt if you're doing it right because they want you to come see them so that they can "help you do it right." I think a large part of what happens is really just that by the time you've had a couple of visits with them, it's been a couple of weeks and everyone involved (baby, mom, and breasts) have adjusted. Period.
So. Those are my thoughts. Probably tmi and totally unsolicited. But I was in the mood for a rant.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The best things in life....
....definitely don't come cheap. :-) I of course am not referring to financially here.
Baby was born at 3:42 Monday morning after a labor that was really fast but, in my estimation, a lot harder than my last one. Ben was the perfect coach again (he's great....he said early on "Just let me know what to do. And not do." And then he was just his quiet strong presence that keeps me going through this mess of life!) And my midwife was phenomenal. I just love the way that midwives do birthing of babies! She was so helpful...with both babies I've had these serious "I can't do this, you need to at least give me IV meds or I'm going to DIE, right NOW" moments. Not only did Liz (the midwife) know that I really didn't mean that, but she knew me well enough to know what to say at which points in labor to get me out of that mindset. It was great.
Baby is positively perfect and beautiful. I don't sleep much (no surprise there), but it's not because he doesn't. He sleeps great...I just have to watch him! I had forgotten how absolutely tiny and amazing little ones are.
So I've been pondering on the grace of God in three aspects of this experience. First of all, things for the semester did NOT get wrapped up. I still have one paper I need to finish, and one that's barely in embryonic state...on Saturday I had set up my plan to finish the one on Monday morning, finish the other Monday afternoon and night, edit on Tuesday and then turn them in. Well, I was off by about 2 days. And I've realized that God's in charge, and that's okay. Everything is going to work out. The second thing is that I'm amazed that babies can even make it into being....with all of the things that have to go right at just the right moments, and all the ways in which they can go wrong...it's amazing that it happens right so much of the time. The last thing is just how cool that we can do so many things that we didn't know we could. Specifically I'm thinking of my decision, about 3/4 through labor, that I just couldn't do it and had made a really bad choice to even try. And then I did it anyway. I think that being able to learn just how far beyond our limits we can go is a really great chance.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Adventures on the bus
So Bee and I got adventurous yesterday morning. Her Daddy had told her that we could go to the farmer's market today, forgetting that he would be gone with the scouts (and therefore the car would not be home). But I was feeling pretty full of energy, so we jumped on the bus and went to the farmer's market. We bought some violas because she wanted them (she picked dark blue and yellow...my kind of color scheme!) and a bouquet of lilacs because I wanted them. :-) We also bought honey sticks and starts for oregano and rosemary. Bee picked out the honey sticks, counting out six, and then gave the lady her dollar and said "thank you." It was a good moment.
When we were on the way back to the bus stop, she realized we were close to Wonderlab and asked if we could go. I told her that would be fine. So we hung out there for a little over an hour. She played in the water exhibit, which she hasn't done for ages. It was good. By the time we got home again, we were both ready for lunch and a nap. I was done in! She really likes the bus, though...I think it's something about the no seat-belt thing.
I've been thinking about lilacs ever since. They're my favorite flower, followed closely by daffodils and daisies. I think they're great...they have woody stems and arrange great, you can't make an ugly or odd-shaped bouquet of lilacs! And they come in all different shades of purple, there are white ones, and they just smell heavenly! But I think that the thing that makes them really special to me is that you can't really buy them from a florist. There's just a two week or so stretch in spring that you have to get as much of them as you can before they're gone until next year. And they remind me of filling up the house in the valley with them in the spring time, especially the times that it overlapped Hannah's birthday. I love them.
When we were on the way back to the bus stop, she realized we were close to Wonderlab and asked if we could go. I told her that would be fine. So we hung out there for a little over an hour. She played in the water exhibit, which she hasn't done for ages. It was good. By the time we got home again, we were both ready for lunch and a nap. I was done in! She really likes the bus, though...I think it's something about the no seat-belt thing.
I've been thinking about lilacs ever since. They're my favorite flower, followed closely by daffodils and daisies. I think they're great...they have woody stems and arrange great, you can't make an ugly or odd-shaped bouquet of lilacs! And they come in all different shades of purple, there are white ones, and they just smell heavenly! But I think that the thing that makes them really special to me is that you can't really buy them from a florist. There's just a two week or so stretch in spring that you have to get as much of them as you can before they're gone until next year. And they remind me of filling up the house in the valley with them in the spring time, especially the times that it overlapped Hannah's birthday. I love them.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
FAMILY!
Hannah was at our house ALL DAY yesterday! I felt so special that we got a whole day. :-) It was really nice to talk to her and catch up. And Bee absolutely LOVES her aunt. Especially her aunt's camera bag, which she walked around with all day and filled with an assortment of pinecones, leaves, grass, papers, and (apparently) "responsibilities." I couldn't ever figure out what she meant by that last part, but she insisted that there were some in there.
I finished up a short assignment that I had forgotten about, and one paper is a short tweak from done...now I just have to suck it up and finish the other two, which are each only about a third of the way done. (18 pages to go!)
Things have been....interesting.....in the contraction department. Basically every night I wonder if I'm going into labor...then once I drink some water and go to bed, things slow down. I think that stress is affecting me more this time than it did with Bee. I just hope that baby is none the worse for it!
And SPRING has definitely come. We've spent the days lately (instead of working on final papers that really need to get done, and soon) drawing with sidewalk chalk, blowing bubbles, and going to the park. Hooray! Now our little flowers in the backyard just need to sprout up.
A blessing that I'm really grateful for....yesterday my dryer started making a HORRIBLE burning smell. So I turned it off. Fortunately Dad was coming over to pick Hannah up. He stayed a lot longer than he had intended and got things squared away so that it would vent properly and not burn us all to cinders. I'm really glad that I have a Dad that will still take care of me, even though I'm supposed to be a grown-up. :-)
I finished up a short assignment that I had forgotten about, and one paper is a short tweak from done...now I just have to suck it up and finish the other two, which are each only about a third of the way done. (18 pages to go!)
Things have been....interesting.....in the contraction department. Basically every night I wonder if I'm going into labor...then once I drink some water and go to bed, things slow down. I think that stress is affecting me more this time than it did with Bee. I just hope that baby is none the worse for it!
And SPRING has definitely come. We've spent the days lately (instead of working on final papers that really need to get done, and soon) drawing with sidewalk chalk, blowing bubbles, and going to the park. Hooray! Now our little flowers in the backyard just need to sprout up.
A blessing that I'm really grateful for....yesterday my dryer started making a HORRIBLE burning smell. So I turned it off. Fortunately Dad was coming over to pick Hannah up. He stayed a lot longer than he had intended and got things squared away so that it would vent properly and not burn us all to cinders. I'm really glad that I have a Dad that will still take care of me, even though I'm supposed to be a grown-up. :-)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Uh-oh
My midwife's parting words from my appointment this morning were, "Well, we'll set you up for next week, if I don't see you before then!"
Yikes! 6 pages down, 39 to go.
Yikes! 6 pages down, 39 to go.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Getting ready
I cleaned the apartment yesterday. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been this clean since it was new. Which makes me happy. And today we did the car. So now all we need is a car seat (Bee's got left in Utah with a certain sister of mine).
We also put together the bassinet, at which Bee said "That's not for babies, that's MINE!" and proceeded to throw one of the biggest fits I've ever seen from her. Pretty funny that the rivalry has already kicked in and he's not even here yet! The plan was to set it up to make sure we had all the pieces, and then collapse it back down. In light of the reaction, we decided to leave it set up so that she can get used to the idea that she can NOT sleep in it! She's had two five-minute time-outs because of it. Fun fun!
And we're wrapping up for Ben's final project and my final papers. Pretty soon we'll both be done with classes. Forever. And then we have to start paying back (at least his) student loans. We really need a job...like a real one. It is nice, though, to get to some sort of landmark in this interminable PhD process.
So when somebody makes a reference to "natural" childbirth, what do you think of? Today when I was at the haircut place getting a trim, the stylist and I were talking about babies. She said that she gained 73 pounds for her pregnancy (makes me feel not at all bad about my 36 thus far), and that her baby weighed more than nine pounds. The stylist next to us said "Did you have her natural?" And the girl doing my hair said yes. And then mentioned an epidural about two minutes later.
I think it's interesting the different ideas that people have about childbirth. My especial, pet favorite is the one where when I say that I see midwives people say "Oh, so you have your babies at home!" Ha, no. I'm WAY too much of a sissy for that. I just like midwife care. Not that I have anything to compare it to, since I've never seen a doctor....I just like the way that I know things like my midwife's own birth experience, what she thinks about the fact that Bee was born cauled (so was Christina of Sweden, if I remember right....one of those awesome queens from Valerie's class was), and that she's willing to look at my case and to adapt her "typical" instructions for how long to wait through labor before going to the hospital because my first labor was so short. I like midwives.
We also put together the bassinet, at which Bee said "That's not for babies, that's MINE!" and proceeded to throw one of the biggest fits I've ever seen from her. Pretty funny that the rivalry has already kicked in and he's not even here yet! The plan was to set it up to make sure we had all the pieces, and then collapse it back down. In light of the reaction, we decided to leave it set up so that she can get used to the idea that she can NOT sleep in it! She's had two five-minute time-outs because of it. Fun fun!
And we're wrapping up for Ben's final project and my final papers. Pretty soon we'll both be done with classes. Forever. And then we have to start paying back (at least his) student loans. We really need a job...like a real one. It is nice, though, to get to some sort of landmark in this interminable PhD process.
So when somebody makes a reference to "natural" childbirth, what do you think of? Today when I was at the haircut place getting a trim, the stylist and I were talking about babies. She said that she gained 73 pounds for her pregnancy (makes me feel not at all bad about my 36 thus far), and that her baby weighed more than nine pounds. The stylist next to us said "Did you have her natural?" And the girl doing my hair said yes. And then mentioned an epidural about two minutes later.
I think it's interesting the different ideas that people have about childbirth. My especial, pet favorite is the one where when I say that I see midwives people say "Oh, so you have your babies at home!" Ha, no. I'm WAY too much of a sissy for that. I just like midwife care. Not that I have anything to compare it to, since I've never seen a doctor....I just like the way that I know things like my midwife's own birth experience, what she thinks about the fact that Bee was born cauled (so was Christina of Sweden, if I remember right....one of those awesome queens from Valerie's class was), and that she's willing to look at my case and to adapt her "typical" instructions for how long to wait through labor before going to the hospital because my first labor was so short. I like midwives.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
End of the semester
Well, I'm at it again. That point at which I start thinking "why am I doing this again?" I don't know if pregnancy has complicated it this time, or the fact that this is my last semester of classes, or a combination of the two. But I'm definitely down to having little or no motivation to do my work. Preparing to teach is definitely a struggle, although teaching itself is usually pretty okay. I've got a decent bunch of students. Writing final papers is looming over my head even worse than usual. I think because I'm trying to get them in early, just in case! Usually I have a week with no classes that I can write them in. I'm trying to get them in at the same time classes end. Which means doing all my normal work plus a whole lot of writing. (This semester's minimum page total is 47) At least I'm still enjoying my reading and going to class. Otherwise I might just quit. :-)
A good thing though....I went to my advising appointment to go over paperwork and double-check my math, and I'm officially done with course work after I do the independent readings course I've set up for summer. So, after the 30th of April, I will never have to attend another class as long as I live. Hooray! It's nice to have hit some sort of milestone, even though I feel like I still have forever to go with exams and a dissertation. Ben will be done, officially. The job search has turned up an interesting job in Richmond, IN. We'll see how that one runs!
On the agenda for this week is going to the hospital to pre-register (I highly recommend it...the alternative is filling out a bunch of forms and answering a bunch of questions while you're in labor...which I would think would be pretty stinky) and figure out which entrances to use. The tour thing isn't as big a deal to me this time...I found some pics on the hospital website, and I'm good. I also need to get Ben to put together the bassinet piece for the pack'n'play and the crib. And we need to buy a new infant seat.
We did pick out some names....we'll have to meet him to decide which one of them works best. I'm open for opinions though. We've got Adam, Spencer, David, Isaac, and James. Thomas, Alex, and Grant were briefly on the list, but got scratched for various reasons. If we name him James it would be James Royal, after great-grandfathers. Adam is also a family name on my side.
Do you ever wonder how you got to where you are in life? I've been doing that lately. I'm mostly glad for how things are...but sometimes I get just a tad bit overwhelmed with all of the things that we pile on ourselves to do.
A good thing though....I went to my advising appointment to go over paperwork and double-check my math, and I'm officially done with course work after I do the independent readings course I've set up for summer. So, after the 30th of April, I will never have to attend another class as long as I live. Hooray! It's nice to have hit some sort of milestone, even though I feel like I still have forever to go with exams and a dissertation. Ben will be done, officially. The job search has turned up an interesting job in Richmond, IN. We'll see how that one runs!
On the agenda for this week is going to the hospital to pre-register (I highly recommend it...the alternative is filling out a bunch of forms and answering a bunch of questions while you're in labor...which I would think would be pretty stinky) and figure out which entrances to use. The tour thing isn't as big a deal to me this time...I found some pics on the hospital website, and I'm good. I also need to get Ben to put together the bassinet piece for the pack'n'play and the crib. And we need to buy a new infant seat.
We did pick out some names....we'll have to meet him to decide which one of them works best. I'm open for opinions though. We've got Adam, Spencer, David, Isaac, and James. Thomas, Alex, and Grant were briefly on the list, but got scratched for various reasons. If we name him James it would be James Royal, after great-grandfathers. Adam is also a family name on my side.
Do you ever wonder how you got to where you are in life? I've been doing that lately. I'm mostly glad for how things are...but sometimes I get just a tad bit overwhelmed with all of the things that we pile on ourselves to do.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Health care in this country
For $125 a MONTH to insure my HEALTHY (as in hasn't been to the doctor since last April) almost three-year-old, it DARN WELL ought to be free for the pediatrician to tell me that she has a cold and not bronchitis.
GRRRRRRRRRRR
GRRRRRRRRRRR
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Just a thought
I may not know garbage about the economic situation that we're in (aside from the fact that once you start talking in terms of trillions, I'm pretty completely lost in the abstraction) or agree with what some of our leaders are doing with money.
BUT. I sure as goodness love the vision/perspective/perception that our President has for America's place in the world. I watched his 60 minutes interview from a few days ago with Ben last night. I was impressed by the fact that, for once, one of our leaders seems to realize that when we play the part of the bully, it makes lots of people REALLY mad at us, which is just a bad situation all around.
It's a nice change.
BUT. I sure as goodness love the vision/perspective/perception that our President has for America's place in the world. I watched his 60 minutes interview from a few days ago with Ben last night. I was impressed by the fact that, for once, one of our leaders seems to realize that when we play the part of the bully, it makes lots of people REALLY mad at us, which is just a bad situation all around.
It's a nice change.
Hooray!
As of this week I'm down to weekly appointments at the midwife....which means that we are very rapidly nearing the end. And beginning. I'm SO excited!
AND....my little sis gets to come out and be here! She's going to stay three whole weeks...honestly, if baby doesn't makes his appearance sometime in there, it'll be because the planets are misaligned or something. I'm excited to see her, and for her to meet him.
We've got to get on the ball and pick out some names for this child, or else we might be in trouble!
AND....my little sis gets to come out and be here! She's going to stay three whole weeks...honestly, if baby doesn't makes his appearance sometime in there, it'll be because the planets are misaligned or something. I'm excited to see her, and for her to meet him.
We've got to get on the ball and pick out some names for this child, or else we might be in trouble!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Spring Break
In exotic Iowa. :-) I've been really glad to get to spend some time with my mom and stepdad. They make the stay so stress-less, it's really nice. I enjoy the structured, "let's all go somewhere together" outings that happen in other segments of my acquired family, but they can be stressful at times. With Mom, we just come and hang out, and sort of do whatever seems like a good idea at the time...even if that means take a nap! So this week has been totally different for me from the normal grind. I almost feel like I'll be able to finish out the end of the semester.
Mom bought us some awesome blue, yellow, green and daisy patterned seer-sucker to make a summer dress for Bee. All of those colors are in one fabric....not one of each. :-) I even managed to find a pattern that requires only elastic....no buttons, no zippers. I mean, I can do those things, but I figure why go to the hassle if I don't have to, especially for something she'll wear for all of two months?!?! The elastic is way easier...and it makes a cute gathered neckline. I'll have to post a picture when I'm done.
AND we managed to get to the temple together...which we haven't done in I don't know how long. It's so hard to make arrangements for a little one...if we leave her, it amounts to about 9 hours someone has to be willing to watch her, and if we take her and switch there with another couple, it amounts to about 12 hours we have to have free. Neither of which are terribly manageable situations. (Ideas, anyone with little ones and a temple not in town?) So we met Mom in Nauvoo on the way in to Iowa, stayed the night Friday, and did a session early Saturday while she and Bee went on a horse wagon ride. It was phenomenal. Especially since Ben and I got married there, and it's the first time we've gotten to go back together. Baby was really active the whole session...I think he liked it! :-)
That's about it...life as usual. I'm down to 6 weeks. ACK! So six weeks to finish up three papers and one presentation, plus get everything ready for a little one, provided he decides to stay put that long (I'm having my doubts...but that's another post).
Mom bought us some awesome blue, yellow, green and daisy patterned seer-sucker to make a summer dress for Bee. All of those colors are in one fabric....not one of each. :-) I even managed to find a pattern that requires only elastic....no buttons, no zippers. I mean, I can do those things, but I figure why go to the hassle if I don't have to, especially for something she'll wear for all of two months?!?! The elastic is way easier...and it makes a cute gathered neckline. I'll have to post a picture when I'm done.
AND we managed to get to the temple together...which we haven't done in I don't know how long. It's so hard to make arrangements for a little one...if we leave her, it amounts to about 9 hours someone has to be willing to watch her, and if we take her and switch there with another couple, it amounts to about 12 hours we have to have free. Neither of which are terribly manageable situations. (Ideas, anyone with little ones and a temple not in town?) So we met Mom in Nauvoo on the way in to Iowa, stayed the night Friday, and did a session early Saturday while she and Bee went on a horse wagon ride. It was phenomenal. Especially since Ben and I got married there, and it's the first time we've gotten to go back together. Baby was really active the whole session...I think he liked it! :-)
That's about it...life as usual. I'm down to 6 weeks. ACK! So six weeks to finish up three papers and one presentation, plus get everything ready for a little one, provided he decides to stay put that long (I'm having my doubts...but that's another post).
Friday, March 6, 2009
Chamizal
So I'm at my favorite conference in the whole wide world of academia. The people here are really phenomenal,the papers are interesting (for the most part), and going to see the plays is always fun...it's amazing how many different spins performing groups can put onto a Golden Age play.
It's been a really good break from reality...and I only had to miss one class to be here. I'm really glad that Ben was willing to be alone with Bee for the weekend. I definitely couldn't have convinced myself to come otherwise. And when I have to go back, I'll be all the more rested and ahead of the game (provided I can stop posting on my blog and go do the reading I've planned for right now!)
So mostly I'm grateful that I get to hang out with people that I love, take a break from every-day keeping my house alive, and do something academic that I enjoy. In large part because I have a husband who's willing to take over while I'm gone. Hooray!
It's been a really good break from reality...and I only had to miss one class to be here. I'm really glad that Ben was willing to be alone with Bee for the weekend. I definitely couldn't have convinced myself to come otherwise. And when I have to go back, I'll be all the more rested and ahead of the game (provided I can stop posting on my blog and go do the reading I've planned for right now!)
So mostly I'm grateful that I get to hang out with people that I love, take a break from every-day keeping my house alive, and do something academic that I enjoy. In large part because I have a husband who's willing to take over while I'm gone. Hooray!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
She's so not a baby
Last night I heard little footsteps running around and went upstairs to check it out. The pajama shorts that Bee was wearing were wet, so I went to change her diaper. She didn't have it on. She had taken off her diaper and then put her shorts back on, tried to get to the bathroom, didn't quite make it, and then gone and grabbed a rag to clean up the mess, which was the first noise I heard.
So we cleaned up, put her diaper back on, and got her some new pants. To which she said "Thanks, momma. Go sleep good!"
So we cleaned up, put her diaper back on, and got her some new pants. To which she said "Thanks, momma. Go sleep good!"
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Proof...
...that students don't know a whole lot about much.
1) When I jumped up to grab the cord of the projector screen, one of the guys gave a mini-gasp and said "Whoa, are you allowed to do that?" It took all I could to keep from laughing out loud. Admittedly, most women who are seven months pregnant don't jump around in front of a classroom of students....but I probably wouldn't do something I wasn't "allowed to." This one was the least of the "wow, I can't believe it"s....I think it's pretty ok for college students to not know much/care about pregnancy.
2) There is a student in my class who has some sort of movement disorder, or at least I'm pretty sure that he does. He's not said anything to me. Another student came up to me before class one day and said "Hey, what's _____'s condition?" I blanched and said "Well, he's not informed me of anything, and it would be a confidentiality issue even if he had." That apparently was not enough to put him off of the curiosity path...he asked "Well, I wouldn't expect him to say anything. Has the university said anything to you?" I decided to just pretend like I didn't hear him.
3) In an activity in class in which I asked students to identify three basic rights that were important to them, between the five groups they came up with "We have lots of rights, and it's good. I can't pick a favorite one" and "Freedom of speech." I wonder if any of them have any idea what it's like to live in most of the rest of the world...oh wait. Their answers speak for that one.
Isn't it great???
1) When I jumped up to grab the cord of the projector screen, one of the guys gave a mini-gasp and said "Whoa, are you allowed to do that?" It took all I could to keep from laughing out loud. Admittedly, most women who are seven months pregnant don't jump around in front of a classroom of students....but I probably wouldn't do something I wasn't "allowed to." This one was the least of the "wow, I can't believe it"s....I think it's pretty ok for college students to not know much/care about pregnancy.
2) There is a student in my class who has some sort of movement disorder, or at least I'm pretty sure that he does. He's not said anything to me. Another student came up to me before class one day and said "Hey, what's _____'s condition?" I blanched and said "Well, he's not informed me of anything, and it would be a confidentiality issue even if he had." That apparently was not enough to put him off of the curiosity path...he asked "Well, I wouldn't expect him to say anything. Has the university said anything to you?" I decided to just pretend like I didn't hear him.
3) In an activity in class in which I asked students to identify three basic rights that were important to them, between the five groups they came up with "We have lots of rights, and it's good. I can't pick a favorite one" and "Freedom of speech." I wonder if any of them have any idea what it's like to live in most of the rest of the world...oh wait. Their answers speak for that one.
Isn't it great???
Monday, February 16, 2009
Stuff
My life is not terribly interesting, but for the sake of not forgetting about it, I'm going to post something.
So I'm going to Chamizal in something like two and a half weeks. WAHOO! I can't WAIT to see the plays, and visit with my friends who will also be in attendance. It'll be a really nice way to break up the semester. I managed to get one of my friends from here to come to the conference/theater festival as well, so I'm excited about that. This is always one of the highlights of my year...definitely the highlight of the professional/academic part of it. I mean, why put up with academia if you don't get to do fun stuff because of it?
Then the week after that we get to go see Mom in Iowa. Bee is most excited to see Maggie (the dog) and swing on the swing (that my awesome stepdad made for her). I hope it's warm enough. One of the things that we've done before is visit the Amish community that's (sort of) close to Mom's place. It's a fun visit, and Ben hasn't been able to go with us for the trips that we've gone...so it'll be new for him. Which is always fun.
Ben is job hunting and we're thinking about moving....we'll see how that goes. At least I now know that I can. I can do all my exam/dissertation stuff long-distance if need be.
And that's about it. Oh! I'm down to my last 10 weeks. WAHOO! Can't beat that...the end is in sight. I was looking at pictures of my new little niece. I'm really excited to have a teeny baby again. Bee has gotten to the point that she won't snuggle up or let me hold her unless she's really tired or hurt. Which is all fine and normal, she's supposed to be that way. But it makes me sort of sad. :-)
When I started typing this she said "You're typing on your sneaky blog?" Don't know why...but it made me crack up. So she'll probably say it again.
So I'm going to Chamizal in something like two and a half weeks. WAHOO! I can't WAIT to see the plays, and visit with my friends who will also be in attendance. It'll be a really nice way to break up the semester. I managed to get one of my friends from here to come to the conference/theater festival as well, so I'm excited about that. This is always one of the highlights of my year...definitely the highlight of the professional/academic part of it. I mean, why put up with academia if you don't get to do fun stuff because of it?
Then the week after that we get to go see Mom in Iowa. Bee is most excited to see Maggie (the dog) and swing on the swing (that my awesome stepdad made for her). I hope it's warm enough. One of the things that we've done before is visit the Amish community that's (sort of) close to Mom's place. It's a fun visit, and Ben hasn't been able to go with us for the trips that we've gone...so it'll be new for him. Which is always fun.
Ben is job hunting and we're thinking about moving....we'll see how that goes. At least I now know that I can. I can do all my exam/dissertation stuff long-distance if need be.
And that's about it. Oh! I'm down to my last 10 weeks. WAHOO! Can't beat that...the end is in sight. I was looking at pictures of my new little niece. I'm really excited to have a teeny baby again. Bee has gotten to the point that she won't snuggle up or let me hold her unless she's really tired or hurt. Which is all fine and normal, she's supposed to be that way. But it makes me sort of sad. :-)
When I started typing this she said "You're typing on your sneaky blog?" Don't know why...but it made me crack up. So she'll probably say it again.
Friday, February 6, 2009
I'm done being pregnant
No, the baby hasn't been born yet. In fact, he's got another three months to stay huddled in where he is. I'm just really tired, and my back hurts in a way that I never thought possible. I'm not entirely sure if it's nerves or what, but I can't sleep because of it. Hooray!
This tangent leads me into something at least marginally more interesting. A couple of the girls in my program have been really interested in the pregnancy/kids and graduate school combination that I do. That leads to some interesting discussions about having kids in general. One of the girls I was talking to mentioned that she just couldn't understand her friends who loved being pregnant (she's not had any kids). Her thought was that all pregnant women probably loved it. One of the things that I mentioned was that for me, at least, I only like pregnancy because it's part of the process. I mean, it's a really neat experience to get to help create another being...don't get me wrong there. But when it comes down to it, the only reason that I'm willing to put up with all the other stuff (weight gain, body changes, BACK PAIN, nausea, dietary restrictions [ie no queso fresco, ACK], finding maternity clothes, mood swings, losing 1/3 of my students at the beginning of the semester because they're terrified of the pregnant lady, not being able to run....the list goes on) is because I get a baby at the end of it! :-)
So what thoughts have we on pregnancy?
Life goes on. OH! I recently acquired an adviser. Since I arrived here I've been hoping to be able to work with a specific friend of Professor Hegstrom's. She's a brilliant woman, publishes things that are incredibly interesting to me, and also happens to be a wonderful person. I talked to her on Thursday and she's both available and willing to head up my committee! Which I can't even being to express my excitement over.
Bee is just as hilarious as usual. Today we went to the little mini-science-museum in town. She always has a ball...a membership there has got to be the best present anyone has ever given us (thanks Mom!). Anyway. We were wandering around and she looked into the tank where they have two leopard geckos, both of which were asleep and therefore totally ignoring the five or so crickets that had been dropped in for their lunch. She looked at them and said "They're just sleeping right now. They must not be very hungry." I asked her if she was sleepy in the morning and that's why she didn't like to eat breakfast. She said "No, mommy is sleepy in the morning and that's why she's cranky!" Cranky is our new word to describe when Bee throws fits over needless things. I thought it was hilarious. And that I need to be a better mom in the mornings.
And Ben is job-hunting. He's applied for several jobs with the state of Ohio. Which would be pretty great, I think. We'll see how it goes.
This tangent leads me into something at least marginally more interesting. A couple of the girls in my program have been really interested in the pregnancy/kids and graduate school combination that I do. That leads to some interesting discussions about having kids in general. One of the girls I was talking to mentioned that she just couldn't understand her friends who loved being pregnant (she's not had any kids). Her thought was that all pregnant women probably loved it. One of the things that I mentioned was that for me, at least, I only like pregnancy because it's part of the process. I mean, it's a really neat experience to get to help create another being...don't get me wrong there. But when it comes down to it, the only reason that I'm willing to put up with all the other stuff (weight gain, body changes, BACK PAIN, nausea, dietary restrictions [ie no queso fresco, ACK], finding maternity clothes, mood swings, losing 1/3 of my students at the beginning of the semester because they're terrified of the pregnant lady, not being able to run....the list goes on) is because I get a baby at the end of it! :-)
So what thoughts have we on pregnancy?
Life goes on. OH! I recently acquired an adviser. Since I arrived here I've been hoping to be able to work with a specific friend of Professor Hegstrom's. She's a brilliant woman, publishes things that are incredibly interesting to me, and also happens to be a wonderful person. I talked to her on Thursday and she's both available and willing to head up my committee! Which I can't even being to express my excitement over.
Bee is just as hilarious as usual. Today we went to the little mini-science-museum in town. She always has a ball...a membership there has got to be the best present anyone has ever given us (thanks Mom!). Anyway. We were wandering around and she looked into the tank where they have two leopard geckos, both of which were asleep and therefore totally ignoring the five or so crickets that had been dropped in for their lunch. She looked at them and said "They're just sleeping right now. They must not be very hungry." I asked her if she was sleepy in the morning and that's why she didn't like to eat breakfast. She said "No, mommy is sleepy in the morning and that's why she's cranky!" Cranky is our new word to describe when Bee throws fits over needless things. I thought it was hilarious. And that I need to be a better mom in the mornings.
And Ben is job-hunting. He's applied for several jobs with the state of Ohio. Which would be pretty great, I think. We'll see how it goes.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
SNOW DAY!
Never have I experienced a snow day in my university career. But I must admit that, even though it's last minute and I still did all my reading/lesson planning, it's pretty great. I haven't measured, but it's waist deep on Bee, and coming on knee deep on me! Everything looks BEAUTIFUL! And since I didn't have to go to class or go teach, we got to all go out to play together.
I remember people in Utah laughing about how it takes so much more snow there to close anything. I have to mention that at least people in the Midwest know how to drive in the snow. They may not cancel school and things in Utah, but it's not because people can handle it any better. In the last few days I've been grateful to watch the people driving around me knowing how to steer with/out of skids, and being patient enough to slow down enough to be safe but not so much that they slide off the road. Which was not my experience while living in Utah. I felt perfectly confident driving in the snow, but was terrified of the people around me, so I walked everywhere when it snowed.
I now know why my mom used to set up a big wooden rack on the back porch and insist that we take EVERYTHING but our very bottom layer off and hang it up before we were allowed in the house. I'll have done two loads of laundry today just for the sake of keeping the house dry. Which is fine, because we've had a blast in the snow, but it's telling. And I only have one! Mom used to keep up with the four of us going in and out constantly when it snowed.
At one point Bee put a big armful of snow onto the belly of my coat and said "I'm putting snow on baby brother!" It was great.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Grateful
Following my sister's example, I'm going to write a few things I'm glad of today.
I have a good group of students....the wimpy ones dropped. (I lost SEVEN students after day 1)
I have Fridays off...therefore, on Thursdays I get to let my brain rest a little.
Bee looks really cute when she's bundled up for 0-degree weather. (She even ended up with her picture in the paper the link isn't that great, you have to click on the "sub-zero weather" link on the homepage...I tried everything I could think of to get a direct link. Oh well!)
They did an extra ultrasound, and baby boy is just FINE and perfect and healthy (despite some sketchiness on the first one).
My midwife gave me the go-ahead for flying the dates of Chamizal. Now I just have to come up with $450. :-D
I think Hannah's right...it's good to think about why things were good today. Today was a good day, overall. And we've managed to get the semester routine down. This week was adjustment week, next week will be the trial run, and then we should be in business! It's always an adventure changing things up and figuring out how to do life (who's cooking when, if Bee can nap at a normal time, how on earth to get homework done...etc etc etc). But somehow it always comes together, thank goodness! It's definitely through none of my doing....I think it's just blessings. I've been really especially grateful since continuing in grad school with Bee and now another. I think Heavenly Father has helped things to work out as a "you made a good choice having kids now and not waiting til your first tenure job." Otherwise I'd be too dense to figure it out on my own. :-)
I have a good group of students....the wimpy ones dropped. (I lost SEVEN students after day 1)
I have Fridays off...therefore, on Thursdays I get to let my brain rest a little.
Bee looks really cute when she's bundled up for 0-degree weather. (She even ended up with her picture in the paper the link isn't that great, you have to click on the "sub-zero weather" link on the homepage...I tried everything I could think of to get a direct link. Oh well!)
They did an extra ultrasound, and baby boy is just FINE and perfect and healthy (despite some sketchiness on the first one).
My midwife gave me the go-ahead for flying the dates of Chamizal. Now I just have to come up with $450. :-D
I think Hannah's right...it's good to think about why things were good today. Today was a good day, overall. And we've managed to get the semester routine down. This week was adjustment week, next week will be the trial run, and then we should be in business! It's always an adventure changing things up and figuring out how to do life (who's cooking when, if Bee can nap at a normal time, how on earth to get homework done...etc etc etc). But somehow it always comes together, thank goodness! It's definitely through none of my doing....I think it's just blessings. I've been really especially grateful since continuing in grad school with Bee and now another. I think Heavenly Father has helped things to work out as a "you made a good choice having kids now and not waiting til your first tenure job." Otherwise I'd be too dense to figure it out on my own. :-)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
To anyone who thinks feminism has accomplished its purpose
Read this. Sorry for all the articles. I just can't help it!
I can't believe that this can still happen...anywhere.
I can't believe that this can still happen...anywhere.
Are they kidding?
I sure hope that the folks that this article talks about are just joking. Somehow, I think they might not be. GAH!
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