So, I finally get baby to fall asleep before midnight. The logical thing for me to do would be to take advantage of the situation and go to bed. And so here I am.
I've had a couple of power struggle moments with Bee in the last few days that have ended badly (read: a ten minute time-out one day, and a wailing child alone in the bathroom because she refused to do what she needed to there the next day). She's been a terror since her brother was born. The fact that I know that this is normal, developmentally appropriate behavior doesn't make it any better. The testing of limits she is doing is exhausting to me! Though my patience has developed to levels I never expected pre-children.
Toddlers are teenagers without the hormones and knowledge of the world that lets them make life-altering, at times poor decisions. In the light of Bee's recent rebellion, two experiences from the last few days have scared me to death.
I recently learned that two different but very dear teenagers in my life 1) have HPV and 2) bought cigarettes though not old enough to do so legally. I rather expected the first but was floored by the second.
I know that I can't "keep" my kids from making similar decisions. The decisions are theirs to make. I also know that there are certain things that I can do to help them choose good things on their own. My worry is actually based on my potential reaction to their choosing potentially destructive things. Will I be able to help them recover? I mean, I've seen firsthand that reacting the wrong way when your child screws up can help them justify further screwing up.
Any thoughts, anyone?
And, isn't it appropriate and revelatory that I'm worrying about this, given that neither of my children is even in school yet? Oh, what it's like to be a constant worry-er. :-)
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3 comments:
Yeah, even when you know the testing limits thing is a developmental stage it still doesn't make it any more fun. Yesterday my three-year-old hit his sister with a rock. I didn't handle it well and I don't think he actually learned anything except to be scared of mommy when she's mad. Sigh.
I do already think about the teenager years and I'm hoping I'll do OK. I don't think my oldest is ever going to grow out of the 'testing limits' stage, since it seems to be so ingrained in her personality. Some day it will serve her well, I hope, but I hope I can teach her to fight against the right things and not just me.
I must be missing something big time!
I know some wonderful parents whose children make terrible decisions. I'm not a parent and therefore wholly unqualified to answer on this one, but I think it's really important to remember that whole agency shtick. We all make our own decisions, some good, some bad, and not even mom and dad can help out. We just have to teach and lead by example and trust in the Lord for all the rest, and there you have my two cents. I'm very sorry to hear about those teenagers.
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