Hooray!

So, it turns out that maybe partners in marriage getting an education (that means the man AND the woman), along with those women who WANT to work being able to do so, means good things for marriage.


Divorce rates are on a downward trend.
In case you don't believe CNN, here's another one.
And another.

Imagine, that waiting until both parties have a little more life experience (not that they necessarily put marriage off indefinitely or for selfish reasons), are better educated, and have a little more financial flexibility within marriage, can mean a better chance at a successful marriage!! Groundbreaking.


I feel so validated. Not that a lack of feeling validated would make me change my life plan at all. But it's nice.

Rain, rain, go away!

So usually I like rain. I enjoy running in it, I like the way the wet earth smells, and it makes my flowers grow. I usually like rain.

It has rained more days than not the last two months. I can't find statistics, and if I'd had half a clue, I'd have kept track.

Add to that the fact that we've got rain in the forecast for six of the next ten days, I'm starting to get bugged.

I just want to see the sun again!

Yikes!

I was looking for this blog:
http://www.modernmormonmen.com/

When I found this one instead:
http://mormonmen.wordpress.com/



And as my Papaw used to say, geez oh pete. I wish I didn't know that the second one existed.

Overheard at lunchtime

We had a rough morning. J took his diaper off and pooped on the carpet in his room (who knew cleaner for pet accidents could do double duty?) while I was getting breakfast together. I always forget that, while Bee was FINE to be unattended at this age, J is NOT.

Then Mollie ran off....we had been playing in the front yard (hooray for SUN in Ohio, finally) with chalk and bubbles and the two oversize balls that Ben recently bought for the kids (one pink, one blue) and she was tied up to the tree. We were putting things away and going in for lunch, I thought J was on his way in with Bee. Just as I unhooked Mollie, J ran for the road. So of course, I ditched the dog and ran for the baby. Which meant that our usually restrained dog suddenly had freedom. She went nuts. So I retrieved her, but it took some running.

After all of this, Bee was saying the prayer to bless lunch and said "Please bless that J will be appropriate, and bless Mollie to not be so stupid." I almost laughed out loud. Both requests were greatly appreciated, but I have to admit I wondered where they came from.

Thoughts on television

One of the speakers in sacrament meeting yesterday* talked about the distractions in our lives and how they make mothering more difficult. I thought of a whole load of the things that distract me from mothering....school work, gardening, training the puppy, my regular work, wanting to run more, BLOGGING (;-))....the list goes on. As I was thinking of my distractions, I tuned back in to the speaker, and realized that he was talking about the evils of television and cartoons, and how they can dominate your home.

And my simple response was "This is why I don't own a television." I say simple, because it really is. It's that easy. If television is eating your kids, don't own one. Donate it. Throw it away.

Now, does this mean that we don't allow outside influences into our home in the interest of "protecting" my kids? No. We watch movies on the computer (we even got a projector for when we want to have the cousins over and have movie night), we go to the library and get various shows on DVD and watch them. But my kids have a set amount of "TV time" that they're allowed to use each day. They decide what they want to watch, and when, but once their time is used up, that's it for the day.

Of all of the things that threaten our relationships with our children, I'd say television is a pretty easy one to deal with.

* Note that I did NOT comment on sacrament meeting yesterday as a whole. That's because I'm still reeling over all the things that were weird and wrong in the "praise to Mothers" (capitalized because of course we're talking about imagined Mothers rather than real ones) program....not least of which the fact that not one single woman spoke!

The same thing again

and again, and again.

I'm feeling misfit-y again. I never know how to explain this.

Right know, at this phase in my life, I basically only know two things when it comes to the Gospel.

1) My testimony is no longer the black-and-white, "everything I hear at Church is good and strengthening, and my leaders always want what's best for me" testimony that I remember having at some point. (I can't even pinpoint when I used to believe this)

2) I still HAVE a testimony of some sort, I know the Church is true. But I don't really have a good nutshell testimony to share, and I certainly don't know what my future testimony is going to look like.


Feeling this way has me struggling, feeling insecure and in limbo. I don't know where to go from here, mostly because I don't know what needs to change.

A job, a job, I finally got a job!

I've been on pins and needles since January, wondering if my decision to leave an in-hand teaching position to follow Ben's job was a good one. Generally speaking, I'd have to say yes....the house is wonderful, and I'm so glad to be done renting I can't even put words on the idea, the kids love being close to family, the step up job-wise has made Ben much happier, getting the dog has made us all happy. We had just sort of stagnated, and it was nice to move on.

And yet there's the "Mommy needs sanity too" issue. Being at home all day every day with the kids and the puppy, as fun as it is and as creative as it lets the kids be with projects etc, and as much as I love making curtains, baking bread, and planting gardens (veggie and flowers!), gets tiresome. Especially with no car...so when I say "at home," I really mean it. I've finally decided to just accept that I need to get out and teach. It's like running, I'm just a much better person when I do it consistently.

So when I found out that the Spanish department at the nearby university that I've been hoping against hope I could teach for, does want to hire me after all, things got all rosy all of a sudden. Bee will be in school in the fall, and they have a pre-school program for J that doesn't have set pick-up and drop-off times, so I can leave him for as short a time as possible. And I'll get to teach 300-level classes....I guess that PhD thing was a good idea after all. Hooray!

Add to that the financial flexibility of another income, and, well, it's just great.

I'm really glad that I have a job that allows me to still be present in my kids' lives, and that my working makes it easier for their father to take an active role as well. When I was little, my Dad used to work extra shifts like a crazy person to make ends meet, which we all appreciated, but I HATED when the phone rang in the middle of the night, knowing that he was off to a prison riot or other dangerous thing, just so that Mom could stay home with us....by the time he was earning enough to not need to do that, we were all grown up enough that we were involved in other things, and we didn't have a lot of time to spend with him. That makes me sad sometimes. Without me working, Ben would probably be in a similar position, taking side work and other things. Since I can teach, he gets to be around while the kids are young enough to be excited and influenced by it. Which makes me happy.

I'm also really grateful to have a husband who's ACTUALLY supportive instead of just VERBALLY supportive. (I've said this before, and I'll probably say it again until I'm blue in the face) I still do all the nicey-nice things an LDS girl is "supposed" to (whoever decides what the "supposed" to actually is), and get my intellectual freedom at the same time. I'm glad I don't have to get a job at Walmart so that we can keep our house. I'd much rather a 10-hour teaching commitment than a 20- or 30- hour work week with no benefits, working in the middle of the night so that I'll be a cranky, awful mom.

I feel like this is a huge blessing, and I'm really glad that Heavenly Father heard Bee's "And please let Mommy get to go teach again" prayer.

Perspective

So, we've had rain in Ohio. A lot. Record-breaking averages for three months straight. And I don't remember the last day without some.

This has caused my sump pump to run continuously, me to open up the lift station pit so more water can drain, and us to buy a small pump to sit next to the furnace pumping water off the floor and into the lift station pit, so that hopefully it won't get high enough to hurt the furnace. Being as we've only been in our house for two months, I've been more than a little cranky about that, especially when I'm using our giant floor squeegie to push water around toward the various exit points.

Then the tornadoes hit Alabama. My friend Kim and her family are there while her husband is in graduate school. I love them dearly, and my first thought when I read that things were bad in Tuscaloosa was to be very concerned for them. I worried and worried until I managed to find out that they were (physically at least) okay. Then I started to worry about them, in my "I want to fix it but am MILES away and there is nothing I can do" worrier way. And the voice in my head that was complaining about my basement shut up.

Some friends of Kim's have set up a site where you can contribute donations to help Josh and Kim. I know that things are tight money-wise for most of my friends and family, but anything that you can spare would be appreciated. I don't think I can even really imagine how I'd be feeling with my little ones in the same situation.



Kim posted their story of what happened.