Finished two chapters to circulate to committee. This pace means May defense and graduation.
Turning in job letters tomorrow.
Terrified at the prospect of failure on both counts.
Monday, October 29, 2012
To all the people who ask me...
....when I'm having another baby:
I'm doing everything I can. In fact, until I changed it this morning out of sheer frustration, my passphrase for my IU account had been like salt in a wound because it required me to, nearly every day (and more than once sometimes) for over two years type in "Em wants three kids". Even though I don't have them.
People see fit to judge me based on my fertility and their assumptions that I'm somehow putting off having more children because of my academic ambitions.
To those people: go take it up with God. He's the one who isn't sending me any babies. And until you get an answer from Him, leave me the hell alone.
I'm doing everything I can. In fact, until I changed it this morning out of sheer frustration, my passphrase for my IU account had been like salt in a wound because it required me to, nearly every day (and more than once sometimes) for over two years type in "Em wants three kids". Even though I don't have them.
People see fit to judge me based on my fertility and their assumptions that I'm somehow putting off having more children because of my academic ambitions.
To those people: go take it up with God. He's the one who isn't sending me any babies. And until you get an answer from Him, leave me the hell alone.
Friday, October 26, 2012
The "a" word issue
I'm firmly convinced that because of partisan politics we will never be able to get to a good solution for the issue of abortion.
I believe that killing babies is sad. And bad. And morally wrong.
I also believe that the rights of disenfranchised, disadvantaged, abused and voiceless people should be protected by the majority.
Unfortunately, there's an intersection between those two issues that leads members of one party to call the other "baby killers" and the members of the latter to accuse the former of ignorance and backward thinking.
When a child (yes, CHILD, it happens. Let's not pretend it doesn't) gets pregnant because her father (or another authoritative man in her life) uses his superior strength, life experience, and selfishness to sexually exploit her, I believe that it is in no one's best interest to force that pregnancy to continue to term.
Numerous studies go into the details of the trauma that teen mothers experience when they go through birth, the higher potential for preterm babies and birth defects and other risk factors for the babies born to these mothers, and the impact on poverty and quality of life for these mothers and their babies. This is NOT the best course of action for anyone involved.
For those of you who will beat me with my LDS-ness, the church even defines circumstances where abortion is permissible, which indicates to me some doctrinal "wiggle room" about when life begins.
That's as far as I'll go here into citing my sources or defending my position on the issue.
My point in this post is simply to state this: until we can get over the ideological divide of black-and-white political thinking, we'll never solve this very nuanced, complicated, and emotionally charged problem.
I'm sure that if the top minds we have in this brilliant country of ours could sit down together, we could come up with a way to legislate abortion in a way that would still provide for exceptions, and allow those "exceptions" to reasonably pursue a forward course of action (rather than depending on a judicial system so overburdened that the fetus in question would become a baby and be born before the process ran its course). But they haven't, and show no inclination to do so.
Until then, I'm grateful for those politicians, activists, advocates, and healthcare providers who are brave enough to let others call them "baby killers." They are willing to admit their inability to find a ready legal solution right now, and recognize the primacy of individual agency and accountability in the meantime.
Reminds me of a certain " you can choose for yourself" plan that spirit selves are said to have accepted over a "just do what I say and I'll get you back to God" plan.
I believe that killing babies is sad. And bad. And morally wrong.
I also believe that the rights of disenfranchised, disadvantaged, abused and voiceless people should be protected by the majority.
Unfortunately, there's an intersection between those two issues that leads members of one party to call the other "baby killers" and the members of the latter to accuse the former of ignorance and backward thinking.
When a child (yes, CHILD, it happens. Let's not pretend it doesn't) gets pregnant because her father (or another authoritative man in her life) uses his superior strength, life experience, and selfishness to sexually exploit her, I believe that it is in no one's best interest to force that pregnancy to continue to term.
Numerous studies go into the details of the trauma that teen mothers experience when they go through birth, the higher potential for preterm babies and birth defects and other risk factors for the babies born to these mothers, and the impact on poverty and quality of life for these mothers and their babies. This is NOT the best course of action for anyone involved.
For those of you who will beat me with my LDS-ness, the church even defines circumstances where abortion is permissible, which indicates to me some doctrinal "wiggle room" about when life begins.
That's as far as I'll go here into citing my sources or defending my position on the issue.
My point in this post is simply to state this: until we can get over the ideological divide of black-and-white political thinking, we'll never solve this very nuanced, complicated, and emotionally charged problem.
I'm sure that if the top minds we have in this brilliant country of ours could sit down together, we could come up with a way to legislate abortion in a way that would still provide for exceptions, and allow those "exceptions" to reasonably pursue a forward course of action (rather than depending on a judicial system so overburdened that the fetus in question would become a baby and be born before the process ran its course). But they haven't, and show no inclination to do so.
Until then, I'm grateful for those politicians, activists, advocates, and healthcare providers who are brave enough to let others call them "baby killers." They are willing to admit their inability to find a ready legal solution right now, and recognize the primacy of individual agency and accountability in the meantime.
Reminds me of a certain " you can choose for yourself" plan that spirit selves are said to have accepted over a "just do what I say and I'll get you back to God" plan.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
What one kid-free day can do
And not even a whole day at that. Today my marvelous and lovely Aunt T took J from 11 til 4:30 while I worked at home.
They raced golf balls down the treehouse slide, watered flowers, and wandered the fall meadow, among other things. He had much more fun than he would have at home, I'm sure.
I got all of the housework done that I needed to (I will not bore you with a list), plus I am now within 3 editing pages of having another chapter draft ready to go for review.
I'm so glad to have supportive family to make this process more bearable!
They raced golf balls down the treehouse slide, watered flowers, and wandered the fall meadow, among other things. He had much more fun than he would have at home, I'm sure.
I got all of the housework done that I needed to (I will not bore you with a list), plus I am now within 3 editing pages of having another chapter draft ready to go for review.
I'm so glad to have supportive family to make this process more bearable!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Oh no he did not....
.....well, then again, he did.
Governor Romney just said that the way he would equalize pay between men and women would be to make sure women had enough flexibility to get home early and make dinner.
For one thing, he didn't answer the question. He didn't say "This is what I will do," he spun some un-fact-checkable story aimed at making himself more likeable in the eyes of women voters.
For another, I don't need a flexible schedule. I got home after a full work day today, and within 15 minutes had dinner on the table. The days that I don't do that, my husband makes dinner. Yeah, cause he can do that. That's how families with two working parents need to function if everyone's going to survive. Partnerships. Valuing both contributors. Recognizing that there's no such thing as "women's work," just work that needs done. Apparently Governor Romney can't see that. Based on his telling of it, you should only hire a woman if you're willing to let her leave work whenever she feels like it - but you should do that, because women deserve special treatment? I wasn't clear on why he seemed to think it was okay to create a reverse double standard for women. Thank you very much, Governor, but I want the same pay as the men in my department because I do the same job they do, put in the same hours. The fact that I still manage to keep up with my family responsibilities has no bearing on the matter (other than for me to be able to say that working doesn't keep me from being a kickass mom).
For yet another, women who DON'T work the same hours as men ought not to make the same amount of money. And vice versa. I know of no woman who is asking to make the same salary for less work, only one who wants reasonable accommodation (like maternity leave - not even paid, just the assurance of having a job post-baby).
Don't get me started on the objectification of women - apparently we talk about men who are applicants but have binders full of women. Not resumes.
Geesh.
Governor Romney just said that the way he would equalize pay between men and women would be to make sure women had enough flexibility to get home early and make dinner.
For one thing, he didn't answer the question. He didn't say "This is what I will do," he spun some un-fact-checkable story aimed at making himself more likeable in the eyes of women voters.
For another, I don't need a flexible schedule. I got home after a full work day today, and within 15 minutes had dinner on the table. The days that I don't do that, my husband makes dinner. Yeah, cause he can do that. That's how families with two working parents need to function if everyone's going to survive. Partnerships. Valuing both contributors. Recognizing that there's no such thing as "women's work," just work that needs done. Apparently Governor Romney can't see that. Based on his telling of it, you should only hire a woman if you're willing to let her leave work whenever she feels like it - but you should do that, because women deserve special treatment? I wasn't clear on why he seemed to think it was okay to create a reverse double standard for women. Thank you very much, Governor, but I want the same pay as the men in my department because I do the same job they do, put in the same hours. The fact that I still manage to keep up with my family responsibilities has no bearing on the matter (other than for me to be able to say that working doesn't keep me from being a kickass mom).
For yet another, women who DON'T work the same hours as men ought not to make the same amount of money. And vice versa. I know of no woman who is asking to make the same salary for less work, only one who wants reasonable accommodation (like maternity leave - not even paid, just the assurance of having a job post-baby).
Don't get me started on the objectification of women - apparently we talk about men who are applicants but have binders full of women. Not resumes.
Geesh.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Well, that's tons of fun....
Just realized that my choices for the House race in my district are Boehner and this guy. Talk about NOT being excited to vote.
I especially loved the "defense of dead baby pictures" statement from the wife of the guy he's endorsing.....maybe your kid is so blindly believing that she'll accept "people who hate Jesus hurt babies" as an answer; my six-year-old is much more inquisitive than that.
And those "big words" .....I'm a practicing Mormon, devout in my belief in God, but I still wouldn't insult my child's right to building a framework for understanding her world by saying that God magically puts a baby in mom's tummy. She knows that we're made up of tiny pieces that we can't see called cells, and that they have stuff in them called DNA and that it takes DNA from two people to make a new baby person.
I imagine that my undertaking to explain God as a grand architect rather than as some imaginary magical fairy-being will help her maintain an adult faith while living in a disbelieving world.
But maybe that's just me.
I especially loved the "defense of dead baby pictures" statement from the wife of the guy he's endorsing.....maybe your kid is so blindly believing that she'll accept "people who hate Jesus hurt babies" as an answer; my six-year-old is much more inquisitive than that.
And those "big words" .....I'm a practicing Mormon, devout in my belief in God, but I still wouldn't insult my child's right to building a framework for understanding her world by saying that God magically puts a baby in mom's tummy. She knows that we're made up of tiny pieces that we can't see called cells, and that they have stuff in them called DNA and that it takes DNA from two people to make a new baby person.
I imagine that my undertaking to explain God as a grand architect rather than as some imaginary magical fairy-being will help her maintain an adult faith while living in a disbelieving world.
But maybe that's just me.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Free the children!
Today after I dropped J off and was on the way to my class, I saw a mom with one of those kid leashes that she had attached to her probably-if-I-had-to-guess four-year-old.
This wasn't a small child, or a crowded public place, or one woman with multiple kids. Mom and four-year-old. On a leash.
You know, the way you do with a disobedient dog.
I'm all for safety, and I'm all for attachment parenting.....we did a variety of co-sleeping and I used slings to carry both my kids around.
I'm also all for teaching children to listen to you, behave appropriately, and develop a sense of accountability and consequences for their own actions.
Leashes for kids undermine all of those things.....if they're tied to you a kid doesn't have any motivation to listen, they don't learn to behave but rather are physically restrained, and have no consequences for running away because, well, they can't do it.
I'm working toward our DOG being an off-leash entity even in public. I don't know why it would be a good idea to not treat my CHILD with at least the same autonomy and respect.
Let's free the leashed children!!!
This wasn't a small child, or a crowded public place, or one woman with multiple kids. Mom and four-year-old. On a leash.
You know, the way you do with a disobedient dog.
I'm all for safety, and I'm all for attachment parenting.....we did a variety of co-sleeping and I used slings to carry both my kids around.
I'm also all for teaching children to listen to you, behave appropriately, and develop a sense of accountability and consequences for their own actions.
Leashes for kids undermine all of those things.....if they're tied to you a kid doesn't have any motivation to listen, they don't learn to behave but rather are physically restrained, and have no consequences for running away because, well, they can't do it.
I'm working toward our DOG being an off-leash entity even in public. I don't know why it would be a good idea to not treat my CHILD with at least the same autonomy and respect.
Let's free the leashed children!!!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I need a nap
Over the last four days or so I've done some things I'm proud of.
I made Bee a layered ruffle skirt using things we had laying around the house (hooray for hand-me-down fabric collections!) - she had outgrown all her church dresses and we had no budget for new ones. The modesty police were on her for not-near-enough-the-knee-for-Primary skirt lengths. I think it's ridiculous for them to criticize her, but I'm too tired to fight that battle so I made a cute pink slashed skirt. That hits below her 6-year-old knees.
This weekend the kids and I made "smoothie popsicles". My aunt gave me some old rubbermaid popsicle molds and we do layer yogurt popsicles. My kids love them....they're yogurt on the bottom, strawberry puree in the middle, blackberry puree with soy milk on top. The different densities stay separate, and this means when they come out of the mold they're white on top, pink in the middle, and dark purple/magenta on bottom. And they have very little added sugar - just fruit. Always a good thing!
We camped out at Gran's and I caved and let Mollie sleep in the tent so that the (nearer than I've ever heard them at Gran's) coyotes wouldn't get her.....I was proud for being selfless. I love my dog, a lot. But not so much that I enjoy sleeping with her.
Yesterday I healed two vomiting children. Ben cleaned the car seats, thank heaven.
Last night I got 6 pairs of pants and 4 button-down shirts on clearance at the thrift store for $15. Hooray for not breaking the clothing budget while keeping my ever-growing offspring in pants that cover their ankles!
Today I overcame a pee emergency. No big deal, right? Kids pee, it happens. Well today it was all about timing. At 10:50 J decided it would be funny to pee on me out of spite when I left him at the childcare center. My class starts at 11:15. I ran to the university bookstore, found a parking spot, found a polo on clearance, found ANOTHER spot near my building and parked the car, changed shirts in the parking lot and made it to class with 3 minutes to spare.
And just now, about 6 minutes ago, I sent two complete chapter drafts off for review.
I'm so ready to fall into bed, I'm glad that this isn't what my life looks like all the time. Or maybe it does and I only realize it on days that I feel like this...
I made Bee a layered ruffle skirt using things we had laying around the house (hooray for hand-me-down fabric collections!) - she had outgrown all her church dresses and we had no budget for new ones. The modesty police were on her for not-near-enough-the-knee-for-Primary skirt lengths. I think it's ridiculous for them to criticize her, but I'm too tired to fight that battle so I made a cute pink slashed skirt. That hits below her 6-year-old knees.
This weekend the kids and I made "smoothie popsicles". My aunt gave me some old rubbermaid popsicle molds and we do layer yogurt popsicles. My kids love them....they're yogurt on the bottom, strawberry puree in the middle, blackberry puree with soy milk on top. The different densities stay separate, and this means when they come out of the mold they're white on top, pink in the middle, and dark purple/magenta on bottom. And they have very little added sugar - just fruit. Always a good thing!
We camped out at Gran's and I caved and let Mollie sleep in the tent so that the (nearer than I've ever heard them at Gran's) coyotes wouldn't get her.....I was proud for being selfless. I love my dog, a lot. But not so much that I enjoy sleeping with her.
Yesterday I healed two vomiting children. Ben cleaned the car seats, thank heaven.
Last night I got 6 pairs of pants and 4 button-down shirts on clearance at the thrift store for $15. Hooray for not breaking the clothing budget while keeping my ever-growing offspring in pants that cover their ankles!
Today I overcame a pee emergency. No big deal, right? Kids pee, it happens. Well today it was all about timing. At 10:50 J decided it would be funny to pee on me out of spite when I left him at the childcare center. My class starts at 11:15. I ran to the university bookstore, found a parking spot, found a polo on clearance, found ANOTHER spot near my building and parked the car, changed shirts in the parking lot and made it to class with 3 minutes to spare.
And just now, about 6 minutes ago, I sent two complete chapter drafts off for review.
I'm so ready to fall into bed, I'm glad that this isn't what my life looks like all the time. Or maybe it does and I only realize it on days that I feel like this...
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