Purgatory?

Limbo? Intermediate state? Don't know if any of those captures list-building, or waiting to hear back on a job.

For three months or so now I've endured the seemingly never-ending process of creating and structuring a list that will then shape my dissertation, adding to it, submitting it to advisors, editing it per their suggestions, and repeating. Endlessly. Like seven times. Here's where linking it to the idea of purgatory works...while I started with sort of a generally fuzzy topic of what I might possibly think about sort of writing on, I now have a nice tidy topic, with a descriptive list that relates to it, and appropriate criticism. The dross has been officially refined out. I'm left with just the good stuff. And as of yesterday, my advisor thinks so too. HOORAY!

But the process still isn't done. I now have to submit it to committee members and go through the same thing again with them as well. It really never ends.

On top of this prolonged process, we're still waiting to hear if Ben has a job with Miami's IT services department. If he does, we'll be leaving here and moving home! Their Spanish department wants me as an instructor starting in January...they've offered me teaching classes of majors and minors, plus the potential for starting a theater production class. I'm thinking that this, plus the fact that we'd get to be real people with a real house and real jobs with real benefits would be a nice change from teaching the terminal GE requirement as a student whose little family is bursting out of our apartment. But we have to wait. Still. Some more. Until the folks reviewing Ben's application decide to give him a yea or nay.

Being in the middle is frustrating to me, because I like to progress. But I have to remind myself that life IS the middle. I just have to come to terms with it.

My life is a comic strip....

.....did that happen because I had kids?

Here we go.

I've often pondered on how it is that I managed to have a daughter who is SO different from me in so many ways, and yet so like me in others. The things that are different amaze me because I don't know where they came from (why she loves pink, why she hates to sleep, why she's a tv addict when I could survive on a movie a month....etc). The thinks that are like me cause trouble (she's just as stubborn as I am, loves to talk as much as I do but uses her words to be mean and rebellious, and insists on having the last word...gee I don't know where THAT came from).

I love her a ton, though. She's taught me more about myself than I could have learned in any other medium, and I'm more proud of her than I am of ANY research I've ever done/produced. I tell her every night that she's my best girl, to which she of course responds "Yeah, I am."

Marriage/family

Amen to THIS.

I especially like the part where she mentions that so many of the kids with babies don't connect their impoverished, chaotic lives with the fact that they've made poor choices.

One of my biggest things I try to do is teach Bee (and eventually J) that the things they do have consequences...both good and bad. Hopefully they'll be able to accept a little accountability, and make the connection between good choices and a good life.

Not that good choices mean your life will be easy. Easy and good are not the same. But that's a WHOLE different post.

Sign language

We happened into baby signing by accident...our friends the Wisemans (we love and miss you, if you happen upon this!) whose kids did baby signs were watching Bee for a few mornings. She came home signing, and I had to learn to keep up! It ended up being great (although watching the videos was what started doing ANY TV at our house....I guess everything has a give and take). We loved signing, and Bee even signed a little bit with a guy who thought we knew way more signs than we did! :-)

Anyway. This comic, once again, reflects my life in eerie ways. My highly verbal child, who I wish would sign/say things like "I love you Mom" usually tends more towards "I don't like dinner, and I won't eat it" sorts of things.

I live for student errors

Not in a bad way. They just make things fun....lighten up a two-hour stretch of grading. This was brought on by this:

"Es en exilio porque es un guillermo"

The poor kid meant "guerrillero," but the thought of someone being exiled for being a William sent me into peals of laughter.

Procrastination

I've needed to grade my students' exams since Monday. Instead, I've crocheted a while on a present for someone who may read this and therefore must remain nameless, cleaned my house multiple times, found recipes for pupusas (which I LOVE and want to make this weekend....I learned on the mission, but had some supervision...we'll see how it goes alone), and now posted on my blog.

I did at least do some searches for my list for quals...funny how procrastinating one thing made progress for something else. At least I got SOMETHING out of it all.

I am completely lacking in motivation these days.

Soooo.....

....I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling a little more angry and cranky about being cooped up with my kids today (and just in general) that I feel is good/healthy/whatever. My theories:

1) I need to do something academic to feel good about the rest of my life

2) Having academic work hanging over my head ruins the kid time

3) I'm totally off and it's caused by something unrelated to either the kids or academia

Any advice, anyone??

Absolutely incredible

No, I'm not posting on the rudeness of the kids I handed out candy to last night...I'm saving that for another day. Or hopefully I'll just get over it entirely.

What I'm amazed about is the fact that the woman who won the NYC marathon did it in 2:28:52. That's an average of 5:42 per mile. To put that in context, when I was running and doing a decent job of it (nothing terribly phenomenal, though I do still hold ONE record at my old high school...I imagine that won't last long), I could bust out a SINGLE mile in 5:54. And it was really hard, and I was always really tired. She did it faster than me, and then kept going that fast...for 25 more miles!

Ben's response was "It's not insane, it's all a state of mind." My response to him was "When either of us can run 26 miles that fast, then I'll believe that it's all in your head!"

:-)