Neighborly

Note to the substance-addicted, unreasonable neighbor downstairs who lied to the apartment manager so that we're on notice for eviction if we don't resolve the "noise problem" (yeah, we're totes awake at 3 am and spend TONS of time having friends over to drink):

It is not my fault that you are alone. It is not my fault that you spend most of your time hungover. It is not my fault that you wake up in the middle of the night. It is not my fault that you're working a crap job. It is not my fault that your car is dying. It is not my fault that you're a grown man living in a college apartment. It is not my fault that you can't put together a reasoned argument.

So stop blaming me and my children for your unhappiness, mmm'k? Sending the management after us won't make your life any better.