Officially boring

I have nothing to say. Due in large part to the fact that I've been either out of town, slogging through the dog having worms and all the fun THAT entails, translating like a crazy person (without getting paid for it....apparently since I'm a woman and "have so much free time" I should not mind being put on a delayed pay schedule....but that's another rant entirely), or cleaning up after vomiting children.

When I despair of ever being a good mom, however, I look at my reaction to the fourth round of puke in the middle of the night. I tend to sit up in bed (yes, I sleep in bed with my kids when they're sick....call me crazy, but I have to make sure they're still breathing), grab the baby to hold their head while they puke, plop them in a warm tub while I change the sheets and disinfect everything (in the slight hope that the rest of us can avoid the plague), and roll back into bed with cleaned-and-new-pj'd baby to start it all over again. I mutter reassuring words in a soft voice....and realize that maybe I'm NOT a terrible mom.

Free and easy

Just ran 6 miles in 52:35. And that was not on flat ground. I ran up a hill that was a mile long. Not near as steep as some of the Utah ones, but enough to kick my butt. I feel so free and happy and balanced. Now if I can just break 48. :-)

I love Miranda Lambert. A number of her songs really speak to my soul... but mostly "House that Built Me," "Virginia Bluebell," "Heart Like Mine," and "Time to Get a Gun." I enjoy the whole CD, though, especially as a running soundtrack. On trails I'm fine with no music, but I really like something to listen to while I'm pounding pavement.

I like the way running makes me feel. Because running can also be a "let's lose weight" thing for people, I'd like to take up a related topic. I hear a lot of remarks and read a lot of blogs that reveal this "women have an obligation to stay thin in order to keep their husband feeling attracted to them" mindset.

True, men are visually aroused. I would like to put forward the argument, however, that expecting a woman in her thirties (or older than that) who has borne children to look like one in her twenties who has not, is not only unreasonable but also ridiculous. Physical attractiveness factors change. Deal with it.

And men - a gut on you is no more attractive to us, than thunder thighs on us are to you. Just sayin'.

Sometimes I should just shut up...

....rather than sharing my opinion in Relief Society. Then people won't roll their eyes at me when I comment that maybe, just maybe, deciding NOT to get married before you finish college isn't necessarily "anti-family" and therefore "anti-Christ" (apparently according to a Julie B. Beck talk they discussed in our lesson today, the terms are interchangeable). When you start thrusting your PERSONAL (ie, not doctrinal) definitions of "anti-family" into that sort of equivalency, things get ugly. And judgmental. And (dare I say) un-Christian/un-Christlike.

I think too much. Way too much. It would be so much easier to nod my head and say "yeah, being 'anti-family' is BAD!" without worrying about the fact that people have all SORTS of definitions of what's "anti-family."

Seriously, sometimes I think I should just walk out (I mean, then they'd just think I was leaving to go the the restroom, not that I was making a fuss, right?) rather than say anything (when it becomes obvious that I'm a dissenter....an outsider....a "not like us" -er). I'd get a lot less emotionally involved, and other people wouldn't shun/get offended by me.

This is why church gets hard for me. I should just let it go.