We took Baby J to the pediatrician this morning. Fortunately, nothing about his health was distressing. But as we set up his next appointment, the receptionist gave Bee a sticker. Totally random happenstance, but it was an Ariel sticker.
Bee was excited (as she always is about the Little Mermaid), and I didn't think anything of it. I've tried to let the whole Disney princess thing be neither here nor there, so that it won't be a power struggle and so that I won't be one of those completely unhinged moms.
After we got home, as J was nursing, Bee pipes up (from her position laying flat on her back on the floor and looking up at her enshrined sticker) "I don't like myself. I want to look like this."
Let the unhinging begin.
It was totally unprovoked, I hadn't said anything at all about the sticker/movie/stupid-freaking-model-of-disobedience-and-lack-of-any-real-self-worth mermaid. So Bee and I had a talk about "Ariel is not real. I AM real. That means I am more special than Ariel, because Heavenly Father made me. Ariel is just a drawing, but I have a body." (To which Bee added "And a Spirit!" I guess Sunbeams has kicked in already!) I think I handled my deep-seated feminist anger well and didn't focus on it...I tried to just focus the discussion on Bee and how smart she is, how sweet she is, and even how pretty she is (which we usually don't talk about because I don't want her to focus on it....apparently we need to work on that!). It was a good talk.
But I'm still reeling over the power of a well-funded franchise over our little girl's perception of herself. I might have to become a little more obsessive.
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7 comments:
My anger at Disney aside, I can't believe how self aware Bee is, and to be able to vocalize it, too.
The only think about Little Mermaid that I like is that when Ursula takes a human body, she uses the name Vanessa.
Bee much cuter than Ariel anyway.
I have tears in my eyes, yes I'm over emotional. Give Nora a hug for me and tell her she is beautiful inside and out and that Ariel is kind of a skank (okay you don't have to use those exact words). I'm going home and throwing away the Little Mermaid.
I also think that's interesting that she thought it and vocalized it. My daughter is six-and-a-half now, and we've reluctantly let her watch the occasional Disney movie. And she has some Barbies now too (given by family, of course). I've been worried about this, of course, but with her personality moderate exposure works much better than outright banning things. Anyways, we still haven't ever watched The Little Mermaid yet even though she wants to. We're probably going to do it this next week for our movie night, since we're talking about Denmark next week and will be reading some Hans Christian Andersen stories. A few weeks ago when we talked about China we read a version of the Mulan ballad and then watched the Disney movie. The kids were mostly bothered by the fact that the army didn't want to let women fight :)
I had thought the moderate exposure approach would work better for Bee, too. She doesn't react well to bans, either. Apparently I was not so right! :-/ We don't own ANY Disney movies, and I try to avoid all the paraphernalia when I can. She's watched the movies with my cousins, mostly. I'm going to have to re-evaluate and form some sort of plan.
I think the fact that she is so self aware does bode well for the future, because she'll be able to see thru all of the junk.
I don't know, Em, I think it is working. I mean, obviously it's distressing what she said, but I think you handled it well. Approaching the subject the way you did, and so early, might help prevent something along those lines in the future. While she might wish she looked like that, it might have been the red hair or fin that she loved most. Besides, we already know that she admits Ariel is "morally suspect".
Gah! It starts so early and some of us (i.e. me) are still not over all the self-doubt that gets instilled in us when we're young. Sometimes kids are way too perceptive about the ways of the world, like when my little brother said from his car seat, "Mom, you can buy anything in this world with money." Yikes!
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